Moving To Silence

Twenty-Two. Now I Am No One

"Do you want me to ditch the football game?" Amalie asks, sitting down next to me on the edge of her bed as I try my cheeks.

"Maybe" I take a deep breath, "Would you take me with you? I still want to get better"

"No drinking"

"Scouts honour" I grin, relishing in how it feels to have my favourite person back with me.

"You were never a scout" She laughs, leading me to her desk chair where she intends to fix the mess, I made myself, auburn hair tangles from running my hands through it and cheeks bare of foundation.

"You don't know that"

"I really do" She beams, running a brush through my tangles. "Are you sure you don't want to hide out here? I can get Storm to come back with me"

"No, I should go. He's my boyfriend- hopefully- even though he hurt me, I hurt him too and I love him, I think you're supposed to fight for that kind of stuff" I sigh, "I said some mean things to him, I want him to know I don't truly mean it"

"Does he know you love him?"

"Yeah" I nod, smiling to myself. "But if he chooses Travis then none of it will matter, or if he sees me as a charity case"

"No one thinks that Nellie"

"I hope not, I feel like I have grown so much these past few months, and I don't want a man to make me feel like I am going backwards again"

"You won't ever go backwards Nel, you're stronger than that" Amalie reinforces, smiling at me through her mirror.

By the end of her makeover I feel more like someone in between Nellie and Maia, being back here is like floating through memories that feel like mine and someone else's at the same time.

I worry Amalie is thinking I have gotten lost, the bag of lollies and two drinks I went to get are almost knocked from my hand more than once. It only took me so long because I saw Sutton and Aiden grabbing water's a few people in front of me, I don't have time to stand around telling them what is happening between Storm and I.

There's still crowds of people, which is surprising considering how badly Northern is losing, something I think is normal. Our side has skill and precision they could only dream of, Storm has captured my attention, his aggression and determination is unmatched.

"Amalie, you have to know!" I hear Storm beg, voice frantic during the half-time break, as I approach our seats, I halt and take refuge amongst tall people that will keep me covered.

"I can't tell you but she's fine" Amalie declines, shaking her head at him, sympathy written all over her features.

"I don't believe you. I fucked up, I should have never pushed her and ruined it all, but I swear I didn't mean to, it's like there's something wrong with me!"

"Why not just tell her that then? We both know she had a plan to tell you, but you know that's a big deal for her and Nel didn't want it to change the foundation of your relationship"

"And now there is no relationship left to save" He sighs, I can hear the pain I have left him with but despite the desire to run to him, he hurt me too.

"And if there wasn't then you would have no one to blame but yourself, lucky for you she never broke up with you Storm, you're still her boyfriend. She said it herself, rather disgusting how much she loves you"

"Please, just tell me where she is!"

"I can't, and you know I won't betray her trust like that, I will talk to her and we can probably come and see you tomorrow" Amalie bargains.