Spicks and Specks: Gone Girl

Chapter 1

~~Murray's POV~~

G'day, everyone! It's Murray. 

I'm sorry, I'm in the middle of an episode of Spicks and Specks.

This time, I was on a team with Myf and Arj Barker the American comedian.

Alan's team was Kate and Michael Chamberlin.

In this round, we were supposed to match three artists with their nicknames.

Alan, Kate and Michael went first. They had to guess the nicknames of Cher, Whitney Huston and Melissa Ethridge.

Whitney Huston's nickname was Nippy, Cher is JPC (that's short for Just Plain Cher) and Melissa Ethridge is Lucky.

Myf, Arj and I guessed next.

We had to guess the childhood nicknames of Noel Gallagher, Bono and Elton John.

Noel Gallagher was Brezhnev because he had huge eyebrows as a kid. Bono was called The Anichrist because as a kid, he was mean. Thank goodness he grew out of that. And Elton John was Hercules as a kid. Hercules is actually Elton's middle name these days.

After the episode ended, I decided to take a stroll and I found Justine selling things.

"Stamps! Postcards! The last shreds of my self respect" she shouted.

"G'day, Justine." I said.

"G'day, Murray" she said back.

"Why are you selling stuff?" I asked.

"Adam is making us. Apparently the varicose vein removal his mum needs is expensive" said Justine.

Andy then came riding on a bicycle with a basket of candy attached to the back.

"Candy here. Get some delicious Candy from Andy" he said.

"Hey, nice rhyme" said Justine.

"Thank you" said Andy.

Adam Hills then showed up and said "Attention, everyone! Big announcement. Last night, I was stood up for a date"

"How can a pint of ice cream and a Julie Andrews movie stand you up?" said Justine.

I shrugged.

"It was Carmen the candy delivery lady. Sheesh, you post bail for a woman and she doesn't let you take her to dinner?" said Adam.

"Been there, done that" I said.

"Since Carmen isn't returning my phone calls or banging on her front door, I've decided to punish her by no longer ordering candy from her" said Adam.

"What? Why do we have to suffer because Carmen stood you up?" said Hamish.

"Sorry, Hamish. It is what it is. And since candy reminds me of Carmen, it's now banned from the Spicks and Specks committee. So enjoy what's left in Andy's candy cart because that's the last of it" said Adam.

Dear, that was something. I've never seen candy get banned before.