Fighting Through It All [Dean Winchester fanfic] #Wattys2015

Chapter Sixteen

I look at myself in the mirror, twisting my body to get a good view of myself. I didn't pack for a formal dinner, which apparently is the type of dinner we're having. Apparently there wasn't a dinner originally planned, but mom and dad wanted to throw a celebration for my arrival. It just happened to be a coincidence that Elena was coming into town anyways.

Luckily, I packed a dress. It's nothing fancy, just a black and floral print skater dress with a thin pink belt and camisole straps. I decide to slip on a black cardigan over it, matching it with black flats. Since the hardware on the belt is silver, I decide on silver jewellery. I wear a simple silver-chained necklace, with only a small ring of diamonds for a pendant. The only other piece of jewellery I wear is my promise ring from Cory, a physical pain forming in my chest as I put it on. It's really simple, the metal swirling into the centre, which has a small diamond in it. Nothing special.

I just let my already curled hair down from my pony tail, merely touching up my makeup for my face and hairdo. When I'm all finished, I knock on Sam and Dean's door, waiting patiently for them to answer it. It's Dean who opens it, no expression on his face as he does. I smile and twirl, causing a small smile of his own to break out on his face.
"How do I look?" I ask, holding out my arms and then placing them on my hips. He nods in approval.
"Great," He answers, his eyes drifting to my ring. I watch his face freeze suddenly, but he quickly tucks away his expression, the old smile back on his face. "Why don't you come in for a second?"
I shake my head. "I better get going. I don't know if they're super big on people being on time or not, so I best be on my way," I reply, and then sigh. To my surprise, he wraps me in a hug, his big arms forming a circle around my small body. I smell in the whiskey and gunpowder, a now familiar and homey scent.

When we break apart, he keeps his hands on my elbows, giving me a nod. "I'm glad you found your parents, Myra."
I smile, releasing a long breath. "Me too, Dean. Thanks."

And then I'm off. My thoughts run at a million miles a minute as I get in my car, no music playing or people talking. For some reason, I miss the feeling of Dean's arms around me, and I crave for the feeling again. No, I think to myself. I don't get to fall for Dean right after breaking up with Cory. But did I ever really not love Dean? I've asked myself a million times before if I loved Dean before I loved Cory, but I could never give myself an answer. I still can't.

I've almost always loved both brothers. It took me a month or so to warm up to them, but after that, they were like family. They were the only real family I ever had. I never knew my parents or sister or any cousins, so they were the first people I considered "family". However, Sam always felt like my brother, while I was always confused by what I felt about Dean. Just the way how he knew how to get through to me, to gain my trust since day 1, made me love him a little bit more I think. I also don't think that love ever faded, it lingered through every step of the way of my time here on earth.

Back to my wondering, I wonder if I would've ever met Sam and Dean if I never went to Heaven. If, by fate, we met and bonded. Became friends, shared stories, and laughed together. Probably not; by the looks of it, mom and dad's life and theirs are complete opposites. We'd never get along, we'd have nothing to talk about. And that's saying if we ever did meet, which is highly improbable considering the size of America, their line of work, and my family's life. So maybe something good did come out of going to Heaven.

I often find myself thinking about my possible life, without Heaven. Who would have been my friends? Would my parents still have had Elena? Would I be a good student in school? It's a petty thing to think about, but I can't help but wonder. All I've ever known is Heaven, and thinking about the possibility of growing up without it is kind of nice, if not, healthy. You would think that a child, or a teenager, or an adult would have thoughts on their life if there was a change of events. It's only logical for a person to.