One Last Time - I'll Make It Feel Like Home

Chapter 31 - Harry

Liam and Zayn are both frozen in place, eyes trained at Zayn's phone. A look of absolute horror taking over both of their faces as they process the words written on the screen. Their eyes wide and filling with tears and jaws slack.

The previously happy, humorous mood vanished the second the sound of all our phones' message notifications rang through the room.

I meet Louis' blue eyes, his worry and wariness about the situation matching my own as I reach for my phone resting on the nightstand to see what made the colour drain from our friends' faces within the matter of seconds.

I turn the device on, feeling my heart drop in horror at the words practically mocking me from the illuminated screen. The air drains from my lungs as my eyes start watering from the fear building in my stomach the longer my gaze stays trained on the cruel message.

I hear Louis trying to say something to me, but I can't decipher the words. I see him rubbing my arm, but I don't register it. I'm completely frozen by the anxiety crashing around in me making my chest feel tight and the air too hot for my trembling body.

I notice Louis' fingers tearing the phone away from my hold, making me snap out of it and desperately try to focus on what's happening with Niall, attempting to push my panic to the side for now. This isn't about me, but my head still won't stop running horrible images of Niall in pain, dead, in my mind. Worst case scenarios playing on a loop in my head.

I don't register that my once calm breaths have escalated to hyperventilating until I feel Louis' small hands clutching at my sweaty face in an attempt to grab my attention. His mobility being extremely compromised in his current physical state.

"Haz. Babe. Look at me."

I comply, still weakly trying to fight off the tears threatening to start rolling down my cheeks, knowing once I let go, I'll most likely not be able to stop.

The lack of oxygen isn't making this any easier on me to say the least.

"I need you to breathe for me, baby. Breathe.", Louis pleads, taking strong, deep breaths as models for me to follow, knowing that's the only way to somehow stop the attack I feel coming.

Louis is the only one who has ever managed to actually help me through this in the past. Something about his presence. His way of being. I can't put my finger on it, but it's him.

When I start trying to suck in painful breaths at his command, Louis starts humming the tune to 'Don't Let It Break Your Heart'. His soft voice making the air flow through my wind pipe seem a little bit more doable.

"That's it, bub. Keep breathing for me. Just like that, luv. Nice and slow.", Louis coaxes me through it, helping me regain control over my lungs.

"I'm alright, I promise.", I wheeze out once I have enough air to almost form words. It all coming out more as a heavy exhale to to how drained I feel. My cheeks still wet from the salty tears, my nose clogged and my throat raw. Again.

But Louis gives me a stern look, telling me to cut the crap. "You're not fine, bub. And that's okay. You thought you lost me when I got myself –", I open my mouth to protest, but he gives me another look, cutting me off, "when I got myself into that car crash. And now Niall is gone. And let's not even start with all the stress over the course of these last ten years."

My head is hung in shame, only held up by the hands still holding onto my cheeks. "That happened to all of you too. Hell, you're the one who was hurt. Yet, you don't see Li, Ni or Zee going to Simon's office to beat his ugly face into a pulp. And now he took Niall. I know it's him. And it's all my fault.", I cry, struggling to see Louis' face through the tears clouding my vision. "If I hadn"t pissed him off and humiliated –"