Eye of the Storm -SAFE HOUSE BOOK 2-

32

He was already stirring when Jamie shook him awake that Saturday morning. Austin stared off into space, and he kept adjusting his shirt. The suit felt so strange on him and the smell of new clothes bothered his nose. As he made his way downstairs, he could see Courtney and Laura in the kitchen, Laura putting the finishing touches on Courtney's hair. They were speaking softly, but their voices stopped when they noticed him. Courtney walked up and wrapped her arms around Austin, and he accepted the affection as if he'd been craving it.

"You look really nice," Laura commented, offering him a mug of coffee. He took it, stirring in a bit of creamer before gulping half of it down. His heart was pounding, and he kept going over the day's schedule in his head.

"Thanks, Mom," he said, forcing a smile. She ran a hand through his hair as everyone else came into the kitchen. Devon was lacing his shoes as Jamie looked him over. Their father walked to the hall closet and returned with one of his older ties, which he offered to Devon as he got to his feet.

Soon, everyone was piling into Laura's Lexus in silence. Jamie kept the radio's volume low as he headed to the funeral home, glancing at Austin in the rearview whenever he could. Austin kept his own gaze out the window, as he tried his best not to cry. How could he be saying goodbye to a friend the same age as he was, so shortly after getting them back? How could he be closing a chapter of his life, after feeling like it had just begun?

He held onto Briana's hand the entire ride to the funeral home. She kept her eyes on him, but he ignored her. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to think about what they were about to do. He shouldn't be headed to this funeral, for this friend. Drew had so many good years ahead of him. He could have gotten adopted. He could have gone to college, to study physics like he had always dreamed of doing. Instead, his life was ripped from him by a heartless man, too focused on being in power than caring for his foster kids.

Austin felt the tears splashing onto his shirt as Jamie swung into a parking spot, allowing everyone to get out and walk inside. The chapel was fairly empty, but a few of Austin and Briana's old classmates had come to pay their respects. Briana held onto Austin's hand as they took their seats towards the middle of the room. Somber music played from the speakers to set the mood. Austin took deep breaths to the beat in a desperate attempt to calm his nerves, but it was no use. Tears still blurred his vision; his heart still thundered in his chest.

He held tight to Briana's hand as the organ played, and the coffin appeared. He didn't know the people who brought it down, but he thought he recognized the father of an old friend, or maybe it was the father of an old enemy. He couldn't be sure. He just wanted to get through the day; he wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed, knowing that he and Briana were both safe.

"We can go if you want," Laura whispered in his ear, a manicured hand resting on his shoulder. Shaking his head, Austin swallowed the sob that began to work its way up his throat. He needed to stay. Austin had promised Drew he would be there for him; he wasn't about to break this promise, too. This was the last thing he owed his friend. Didn't Laura understand? He was supposed to be here. This was what Drew would have wanted.

His heart thundered in his chest as the crowd sung a hymn he didn't recognize. The officiator spoke some words about moving on too quickly, and Austin did his best to listen. Drew would have liked this, he decided. All the people he loved in one place, no loud sobs, no fuss. He had always been a simple person. That was one of the many things Austin had liked about him.

Too soon, the coffin was wheeled out of the building towards the graveyard. Austin stared at the grey headstone, tears streaming down his face. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. He hated that he was going to have to come to terms with this someday. He hated that this funeral had to happen, that he had had to come to it in the first place. Couldn't something work out in his life, for once? Couldn't he get what he wanted? He didn't ask for much.

*****

The coffee shop was quiet when Jamie opened the door for the family. Austin kept his hand clutched in Briana's as everyone filed in, eyes facing the menu. Orders were placed, and soon everyone sat down at a line of tables with their drinks. Briana kept looking at Austin, but he didn't want to talk. He just wanted the day to be over.

Austin picked at the scone Laura had placed in front of him, not really in the mood to eat anything. His appetite seemed to disappear as they all sipped their drinks. Tears threatened to fall, but he pushed them back. He knew everyone was already dealing with so much; he wasn't about to add to that stress by showing that he needed them to take care of him. He didn't want to be out. He wanted to be in his room, listening to music to drown out the pain. Maybe that would get him out of his misery for just a little while.

Maybe Jamie could sense his uneasiness because he got to his feet moments later. "Alright, it's been a long morning. I think we should all just go home and relax. Maybe tonight, we'll watch a movie," the man decided, taking out the keys to the car and leading everyone out. When they finally reached the house, Austin ran upstairs and closed his door without a sound. If anyone noticed he was acting up, they didn't comment on it.

Tossing his clothes onto the bare floor, he slipped into some shorts and a tee-shirt before collapsing on the bed in a fit of sobs, a bit of his blanket shoved into his mouth to muffle the sobs. His family didn't need to feel his pain and theirs, too. He had lived his entire life being taught that feelings weren't meant to be shared but experienced in silence. That was one of Mitchell's many lessons, and one of the only ones he kept in mind now. His body shook as he sobbed and gagged, limbs quaking more and more with every second that passed.

The rest of the day went by at a snail's pace, minutes ticking as Austin stared at the ceiling. He tried a few things to distract himself, but they were no use. That fatal night kept popping up in his mind, and then he would begin to shake and cry again. Jamie and Laura could be heard in the kitchen as he headed in to get a snack, munching on a few carrot sticks and slowly sipping a tall glass of ice-cold water. "I think we should take his advice and get Austin to a psychiatrist, but I'm not sure if that's our best bed right now," Laura said to her husband, her voice thick from crying.

Turning to them, Austin shook his head. "No... I don't want to see any more doctors. Please, just let me talk things through in therapy for now. If that's the course of treatment they want, that's fine. I just don't want to see any more strangers right now." He wasn't sure they would agree, but they listened and seemed to understand. Jamie looked at Laura as they settled into another uncomfortable silence.

"Okay... if that's what you think you need, but if you get worse than you are right now, and your therapist suggests it again, I'm going to call Dr. Mathers. I'm not going to let you wallow in your own depression when I could be doing something to help you make it better," Laura responded, keeping her voice low but firm. Austin thanked her as he turned and made his way back up to his room. Briana wasn't back from therapy yet, so he sat by the window until he saw her car pull up outside.