For as long as I can remember, guys have always been a major issue for me. Not going to get too in to detail with the men before my uncle came along. All you need to know is how fucked up they treated a innocent child. Those men wouldn't have cared to know how hurt I was. At just the age of 12 my life took a bad turn down hell. My aunt use to date this guy , my uncle, his name was let's call him Jonny. Uncle Jonny was nothing but trouble from the start with his constant nagging and always wanting everything his way. He always got his way.
One fall night, I spent the weekend with my aunt like i always did to escape my pain of my parents current scandal. Also because my aunt feared him He too put his hands on her. it's a sad time to think about because I love her way too much and she is just too beautiful for this. Anyway, my aunt was crashed drunk and in her upstairs room. I was in my little guess bed which I shared with my little cousin. He was asleep right now. I just laid him down when I heard him stumble in. Knocking down everything in his way like a mass destruction. I went out to make sure he got to his bed safe. When I opened the door though he was already outside it Breathing heavily, palms all sweaty, eyes bloodshot and half his clothes ripped from him.
"Are you OK? Are you hurt?" I questioned.
Jonny stares blankly at me before pushing me into the room and shutting the door. I let out a loud scream, that was then muffled by a pillow. He was on top of me, his knees in my rib cage with a pillow on my face. "Shut the fuck up," he hissed. He removed the pillow and replaced it with his bare hands around my neck. " Shut the fuck up."
My hands go to his chest as I struggled to push him off. He was stronger then me though. He brought his fist back and then forward. When I opened my eyes again I felt a sharp pain coming from there. There was a shadow figure hovering over me. Roughly he thrusted into me. I remember just breaking into tears as I realized what was happening. " Yes, baby cry. I like it when you cry. I like you all wet."
My little cousin was just a foot away in his crib sleeping. No way would I awake him to this...
Jonny then got off and pulled me on him, forcing my head down to his plave , but quickly I pulled away. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and told me, "do it, or he's next." Jonny was addressing to my cousin.
I nearly threw up when those words came out. He forced my head down again and again I pushed away. I kicked him off me and grabbed my cousin. I ran to the bathroom and locked my self in there with little baby Joseph. He was still asleep to my surprise. Like a perfect little angel. Now that I look back at it I was full of hate and jealousy towards him. you know why? He Was innocent...
stayed in there all night. I sat in the tub with my little cousin in my arms and I'm half naked scared shirtless to leave this damn room. I'm shaking and I'm bleeding uncontrollably and I can't stop crying. My cousin Joseph had awoken later just oblivious to the circumstances that surrounded him. He just looked at me with those big eyes of his and smiled. For some reason its like he knew though, because his smile faded and he watched me cry. he caught each tear with his little hand. I remember I just kissed his little face and told him, " I love you, I won't let him ok? I won't let him."
The pain was so unbearable both emotionally and physically. This was only the beginning of a long road to hell. Each time after was worse and each time after he made me do worse...
