When You Lose a Soulmate

Scott

What happens when you lose a soulmate?

You might be asking how you can lose a soulmate if they really were a soulmate to begin with. There are a few ways this might come about and I've experienced two personally. First, your energies can fall out of alignment as the individuals you are take different paths forward. This was what happened between me and my first soulmate, Scott.

We met in high school. He sat behind me in Chemistry and we hit it off immediately. He was a year older than I, a senior when I was a junior, so he graduated a year ahead of me. We stayed close during that gap year (which is what it was for him) before being almost constant companions from the first day of college until graduation four years later. We had similar goals. I wanted to write and work with law enforcement as a public relations liason. He wanted to be a police officer. We both dreamed of living at the beach and having amazing lives with loving partners and friends. We each included each other in those dreams, too. So much so, that despite him taking a job in South Carolina after graduation, we remained close even though I stayed in Pennsylvania.

When the time came for me to get married, I called on him to be my gentleman of honor. He drove me from my parents' home to the town where we held the wedding and we talked and laughed and continued to vibe energetically. He was happy for me and I was happy for him when, several years later he met a woman he wanted to marry and did so. But it was at this point that our energies, always so in tune with each other, began to diverge.

My ex-husband and I had decided against children. Scott married a woman with a young son and suddenly he was a father with the stressors that come along with the role. He had little time for the kinds of things we had done together over the years, like playing paintball or going to the firing range. He began to resent his wife, who was controlling in ways I never thought he'd stand for. She threw away his prized pornography collection I'd watched him build from the time we went to college. She didn't care for me, despite my every effort to ingratiate myself with her, and so she didn't want him to spend time with me even though we now lived only about an hour away. He became bitter and angry with his life while I was beginning to look for ways out of the unhappy marriage I was in so I could move on to a happier life.

When I divorced my ex-husband, the crisis for my relationship with Scott came and our energies split for good. His wife demanded he end the sixteen year friendship he and I had because she feared I was trying to take her husband from her. Bear in mind, we'd never so much as kissed as friends in the 16 years we'd been close. I wasn't interested in him as a romantic partner. Not even a little. There were parts of him that just repelled my soul when it came to thinking of him as anything other than a friend, so I knew we'd never date. But his wife was certain I was trying to take him away, likely because I'd encouraged him to be happy and make the changes in his life that would allow his happiness, even if it meant leaving his wife. Not leaving her for me, but leaving her for himself.

She insisted he break all contact with me...and then he did. I admit it broke my heart when the break came. He left a message on my cell phone that I wasn't to contact him ever again. His wife didn't want me in his life. A message to end 16 years of loving friendship and I was destroyed. I still mourn the loss of my soulmate. I still look at every cop in the beach town he works in when I visit there (it's still my favorite place of all time). I followed a yellow jeep through traffic in our hometown once because I thought it was him. And I didn't contact him ever again.

I dream of him from time to time, and the dreams run the gammut of our having the same soulmate connection we once had to him being cold and distant and angry with me. Sometimes I wake up sobbing as my heart breaks yet again. But while my heart may ache for the loss of the connection, my soul understands that it was time for us to go our separate ways. I may long for that friendship and wish for a way to make it happen again, but I know that will never happen. That place in my heart and my energy has taken the hits and come out stronger, but not without some remorse for the loss of what we had.

While I can certainly understand why clients come to me, looking for ways to reconnect with the people in their lives whom they believed to be soulmates, I must say that when the energy bond breaks, there's little chance of it being fully repaired.