Confessions of a Kontrabida

Chapter Six

"Seryoso ka?" tanong ni Luke after I explained to him my plan and what I want him to do. I am skeptical about him wanting to help me so naisip kong subukin muna siya.

"Isn't this a little bit too much?" he asked.

"Luke, it's not only a little bit. It's really too much" ngiti ko sa kanya.

"What about Tristan? Lagi silang magkasama. I don't think -"

"You don't need to think, Luke. Ako lang ang mag-iisip sa ating dalawa. You think I'm stupid para hindi maisip yun. Of course, I already thought of a way para malingat si Tristan. It's like hitting two birds with one stone. I get to set them apart plus magbe-benefit pa tayong dalawa. Me with Tristan, you with Yssa" ngisi ko. He just looked at me and I saw how his Adam's apple moved.

"Kung umaayaw ka na, okay lang. Alam ko namang bida-bida ka lang kahapon dahil naawa ka sa 'kin. My life is MMK worthy, try ko kayang sumulat dun. Magkakapera kaya ako kapag ginawa ko yun?" napailing na lang siya.

"So, kailan natin ito gagawin?" nakakunot-noo nyang tanong.

"Gusto mo ngayon na?" taas-kilay kong tanong habang nakangiti. Tinitigan nya lang ako.

"Okay, fine! Ito naman di mabiro. Mamaya natin gagawin yan" iniwan ko sya sa sala para pumunta sa kusina at maghanap ng makakain.

"Sigurado ka na ba talaga dito? Will doing this make you happy?" gusto kong sumagot ng oo with conviction but then I hesitated.

"Oo, because these things mean that Tristan can be closer to me. He always makes me happy kaya alam kong magiging masaya ako after all these shits" I was telling myself those words because I cannot afford to waver lalo na't uumpisahan ko na ang first part ng plano ko.

"Okay, I'll text her gaya ng pinapagawa mo. Just make sure you'll have no regrets after doing this"

"Regrets my ass! You don't have to worry about me, Luke. Just worry about yourself cause what I hate the most is babysitting people who are whining because they regret what they've done"

Nakatitig lang siya na tila tumatagos sa kaluluwa ko. I hate it. Feeling ko nababasa niya ang iniisip ko. No one should be able to read what's on my mind.

"Regrets are pointless. Nangyari na ang nangyari kaya there's no use in feeling miserable" nakatingin lang siya sa akin. I first broke our eye contact while the beeping of his phone broke the silence.

Napatingin siya sa phone niya. I saw Allyssa's name on the screen. I smiled to myself.

"Looks like the princess is looking for you" saad ko. He passively looked at me then grabbed his phone.

"Ingat!" tawa ko as he went to the door. Huminga ako ng malalim nang makalabas na siya.

Will I be really able to do this? Luke got me thinking and I hate him for doing that. Mahirap makasama ang isang taong katulad niya. He has his way to other people's mind and dapat hindi ako kasali dun pero it seems na kayang-kaya niya akong basahin. I have to build better walls for myself because I hate feeling vulnerable to someone, especially not with him.

"Handa na lahat ma'am. Kayo na lang po hinihintay namin" sagot ng tauhan ko nang kumustahin ko ang surpresa ko kay Allyssa.

"Good, papunta na ako" sabi ko at nag-focus na sa pagmamaneho.

I prepared a very special surprise for Yssa. A girl like her deserves the best and so I shall give it to her. Nang makarating ako sa lugar na kinalalagan ng surpresa ko ay agad akong napangiti. I saw the big screen at ang mga taong naghihintay dahil press conference ito ng isang clothing brand kasama ang mga models kaya nandito rin si Allyssa. She's a model kaya lang may pagkamahiyain. She tends to not attend these kind of events kaya I made sure na pupunta siya with the use of Luke.

"I-play mo yan kapag siya na ang magsasalita. Be discreet about it and leave no evidences or traces, understand?" sabi ko over the phone.

"Yes ma'am" sagot ng kausap ko.

I blended with the crowd at saka tinawagan si Tristan.

"Hello Shai. Napatawag ka?" I smiled when I heard his voice.

"Yeah, itatanong ko lang sana kung libre ka this afternoon. Magpapasama sana ako sa'yo eh" sabi ko in a sweet voice.

"Huh? Magpapasama? Saan?"

"Mmm... Kumain sana. Ang lungkot kasi eh"

"Tss. Ikaw talaga. Okay lang sana kaya lang I have to fetch Yssa from her press con mamaya eh"

"Sige na, please. Birthday kasi ni mama at malungkot mag-celebrate mag-isa" sinadya ko talagang maging mas malungkot ang boses ko.

"Ah, okay... Pero sana isama rin natin si Yssa" napairap naman ako. Yssa na naman. I composed myself by inhaling my breath slowly and releasing it.

"Tristan, to be honest with you, ang gusto ko sana tayo lang dalawa. Hindi na kasi tayo nakakapag-bonding without her eh. I miss you tsaka minsan lang naman ako mag-request sa'yo di ba? Pagbigyan mo na ako. I'm sure she'll understand naman eh" pakiusap ko. Medyo matagal bago siya nakasagot. Inside my head, I'm begging para mangyari ang gusto ko.

"Okay, sige na nga. Where do you want to meet?" napangiti ako ng sobra.

" Yes! Thank you talaga! Sa Chez Alejandro na lang tayo makita. Doon sa malapit sa condo mo"

"Sige. How's 3 o'clock sound?"

"It sounds perfect! Bye! See you!"

I ended the phone call with a huge smile plastered on my face. Umalis na ako sa lugar and texted my reminders dun sa mga taong nakausap ko.

'Do your job as I told you. Inform nyo na lang ako if may problema'

Honestly speaking ay may kaba rin akong nararamdaman ngayon at kumakatok rin ang aking konsensya from time to time. I may appear heartless to other people and my conscience may not be as loud as it should be for a person like me pero may konsensya ako. I am stil human. A human that wants to be happy on that note. I have always lived the concept of carpe diem. I like crossing bridges once I get there. This is the concept that let me live day to day and I will use the same to acheive happiness.

They say happiness is a choice. I say, I choose to be happy and I will be happy no matter what other people say, or how bad it may become along the way.