The American Goddess

Chapter 4

After a walk around the grounds of Kyrie Emerson's home, Immanuel returned to the dining room with his hands tucked deep into his pockets and his head bowed. He was finally sober and consumed with guilt for ruining dinner. Savanna was still sitting at the table while the rest of the family had dispersed to the kitchen for drinks or the living room to settle down.

"I'm really sorry about tonight, Vanna," he said as he occupied the chair beside her. "I'll make it up to you."

Savanna sighed and dropped her head on his shoulder. She couldn't stay mad at her big brother. It was impossible, especially when she could visibly see the pain on his face. "If bringing her around means you're going to drink yourself to death, I won't invite her anymore."

"She's your friend," he said, shaking his head. "If you want her around, then I'll be mature about it. I can't stop you from being friends with her."

"What did she do to make you hate her so much?"

"I don't hate her." He looked down at the untouched dinner plate in front of him. Winona had been sitting in his place, patiently waiting for his arrival with the rest of his family. Images of her flooded his mind as he continued. "I waited six months for her to leave boot camp so we could meet. If I hadn't found someone by then, we would give us another chance."

"What happened?" Savanna asked. She was holding her breath now. "Did you meet up?"

"No," he responded. "I was supposed to pick her up at the airport. I waited hours for her to show, but a few months later I found out that she was filming the documentary at the time we were supposed to meet. Then I saw her on The Gabby Taylor Show talking about everything she's done this past year. She chose fame over me."

"Winona isn't like that," she said to her brother skeptically. "Have you ever asked why she didn't show up?"

He shook his head to answer her question, which only earned a heavy, exasperated sigh from her. "What I said about her not being part of the family was pretty fucked up. She's always been loved before we got together. I'm not sure she'll want to see me any time soon."

"She's home," she told Immanuel. "Maybe it's worth talking to her so you can heal."

"You're right," he agreed. "How is she doing with Yemaja?"

"She's overwhelmed." Savanna picked up her phone and showed him the text conversation between her and Winona. "Yemi woke up as soon as she got home, and now she won't stop running around. I better go help."

"Can I come?"

"Of course," she said, smiling.

The rest of the family was seated together in the living room, engaging in conversation. Denver immediately noticed her when she walked into the room and stood up to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Are we heading out?" he asked her.

She nodded. "Immanuel's coming with. I just have to say goodbye to everyone."

After bidding goodnight to the family and thanking them for showing up to celebrate, she walked out onto the porch with Immanuel and Denver.

Denver entered through the driver side to start the engine and waved to the family as they watched them leave from the porch. Immanuel could feel Kyrie watching him, but he ignored his icy stare as he got into the backseat and shut the door.

As Yemaja rolled in her pile of toys, giggling at the sensation on her back, Winona sat on the floor with her head in her hands. She was exhausted and out of ideas for getting the small child back into bed. She felt like a complete failure for not having a better handle on the situation. The little girl's laughter was mocking her disciplinary skills.

The front door unlocked from the other side. Winona knew it was Savanna so she didn't bother looking up. She didn't have the energy to turn her head just the slightest to greet her roommate.

"Hi," Yemaja said, sprinting to the kitchen. "I'm Yemaja."

"That's a pretty name, Yemaja," a man spoke.

Surprised by the voice, Winona turned her gaze to the door. Denver was retreating into the bedroom while Immanuel had Yemaja in his arms, cradling her small body.

"Are you giving your sister a hard time?" he asked her.

Yemaja sheepishly smiled and nodded her head. "I want to play."

"Play time is only when the sun is up. When it's dark outside, that means it's time to sleep." He walked over to Winona and lifted Yemaja's small hand, guiding it in a wave. "Say goodnight so you can sleep now."

"Goodnight, Nana," she said quietly to her older sister.

Winona followed him into the bedroom and cleared one side of the bed so he could lay her down. Yemaja couldn't stop smiling, not even when he turned off the light in the room.

"When you wake up, all your toys will be waiting for you," he told her. He waited until her eyes were closed to leave the bedroom.

Winona shut the door behind them, and when they returned to the living room, Savanna was already gone. Silence flooded the room for a long moment until Winona decided to speak.

"Thank you," she said to him. She kneeled on the floor and began picking up the toys, but to her surprise, Immanuel pulled her up. She gasped when she felt his hard body crash against hers. "What are you doing?"

"You're going to collapse if you don't sit," he said, shaking his head in dismay. He guided her to the couch and sat her down. "How many hours do you sleep?"

When he placed a hand over her forehead, she pulled it away and forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"You're burning up." He laid her on her back and pushed her hair out of her face. Her dark eyes searched his face, examining every feature and mark on him. Unexpectedly, she smiled.

"What are you doing here, Immanuel?"

He dragged his hands through her curls, scratching the top of her head to soothe her. "I wanted to apologize for tonight. I said some horrible things."

"Don't," she said. She grabbed his wrist and brought his hand down to her lips. They quivered as he stroked her bottom lip. "You never got the apology you deserve from me, and you weren't wrong about anything you said. I deserved that."

"Why didn't you just tell me you weren't going to be there?"

She tried to pull herself up into a sitting position, but he held her down, preventing her from getting up. "Immanuel, I can't talk to you like this."

"Then let's do this in the morning," he suggested. He grabbed the throw blanket and unfolded it before draping it over her body. "I want answers but only when you can think clearly."

"Are you leaving?"

"Do you want me to?"

She shook her head and moved to the edge of the couch, creating space behind her. "You can spend the night if it's okay with you."

He swallowed hard. The narrow space behind her meant he'd have to hold her. For a year, he had yearned to, and now that he was presented with the opportunity to, he couldn't turn it down. "Only if it's okay with you."

She pulled him onto her and released a shuddering breath when he buried his face into her neck and rolled into the crevasse of the couch and her body. He cradled her, rocking her body gently as she closed her eyes to sleep.

"I don't deserve your kindness," she murmured into the arm he had around her. "I don't deserve you."

"Don't talk like that, peach."

Her heart was pounding now. She hadn't heard that word uttered in a year, and hearing it roll effortlessly from his tongue almost made her feel complete. She wanted to respond, but with his body pressed against hers, she felt at ease and comfortable enough to fall asleep.