Why Not Me

There's No Escape

I wake up and look around me and then to the clock on my nightstand. It's 6:27am. I can't believe my eyes so I grab my phone from under my pillow just to make sure that I'm not imagining things.
It was indeed 6 am.I get up from my bed and start getting ready for the new day feeling all energetic and happy for the first time in a while now.

Since he didn't pay me a visit last night, I wasn't feeling like I'm sleep deprived. So I actually concentrated in class for once. I even had enough energy to hang out with my friends after school. It might be the psychological effect but all I know is that I was feeling better without him.

On my way to the bus station at the end of the day, I started thinking,Maybe I was right, maybe that was goodbye and maybe, just maybe I can have my life back. I was overwhelmed by hope but I knew I shouldn't get too carried away. He's done this before; he would be gone for days, sometimes months. I would feel happy, normal even. And he would be back, and my dreams would come crashing down to explode into a million feeling of despair and hopelessness.

It's ironic how ever since I was a kid,I wanted something different out of life.I was thirsty for Adrenaline. I didn't care how but I wanted any sort of excitement. But now all I want is a way out of this life that's destroying me day by day. I want a normal life where my only source of stress is an upcoming math exam, where I don't feel like crying at random times during the day and where I can fall asleep with a clear head every night knowing I'll be safe.

In my train of thoughts, I bumped into someone so I said I was sorry, and I looked up to be met with a pair of glistening hazel eyes. I was lost in them until I saw that smirk and I heard him say:

-hey

It's that rude guy from yesterday. I ignored his greeting and walked past him to start my search for a taxi. I ended up sharing one with three other girls who live nearby.

During the whole ride, the driver kept talking about of how unfair it is that low forbid men to marry more than one woman. He said that since nature gives men more sexual desire than women, it's only fair that man marry more than one woman, along with many sexist ideas. And the worst part is that the girls were actually giggling about it. I had a big urge to slap him in the face and to get off the taxi but I restrained my self. I just wanted to get home,and call my best friend.

Her name is Nona. We were friends since primary school but we got really close in prep school. Until each of us went to a different high school.We started drifting away. It was mainly my fault. My new friends and school kept me busy, not to forget to mention my night life. So we made a promise that we'll call each other over the phone, have a Skype chat or meet up at least once a week.

So when I got home, I ate my dinner, did my homework, laid in my bed and called her. We started talking about everything and nothing.
I started feeling sleepy even though, I usually don't sleep at this hour.
I guess Nona's talk about her boyfriend tires me but I knew what he means to her. She was head over heels for him so I decided to stay awake for a little bit longer. But my eyelids started to get heavier and heavier and I couldn't help it anymore. I fell asleep.

The next thing I knew, I felt a cold breeze. I tried to pull my covers up but I couldn't. I was tied up in my place. The ringing starts, signaling that this night is far from over.

He is here. My heart rate goes up and I could feel my palms getting sweaty. I'm so scared. I convince my self that it's going to be over soon, that someone is going to walk into my room and save me from this never ending nightmare and that i'll be ok. Things I tell myself over and over. Things I hide behind to stay sane. Things I know deep down will never come true. I close my eyes to block everything. And I let it be..