love, cheater ➳ ziam au

|five|

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|five|

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Dear Liam Malik-Payne,

Baby, you replied! I'm so happy you replied! And, what's with the formality, love? I'm your husband, you can talk to me in a casual way, you know?

Who am I kidding.

You hate me. But you still care. That's something I admire about you, Li. No matter how much a person hurts you, prods at your boundaries, peels open your wounds, you'll still care about them, because you're just so perfect. And then there's me, the one who hurt people, prods at other's boundaries, peels wounds open and rips hearts out of their chests and stomps on them to show how much I don't care. You're the angel, I'm the demon.

Fuck this, I get too sentimental and poetic when I'm sad. But you've told me that I have a gift. Told me you loved it when I vent out my feelings into poems and paintings. I never really believed you, but then you'd kiss me and I'd realize that I actually do have some worth.

Speaking of poems, I dug through my drawer yesterday, and found the first ever poem I wrote about you. It needs tweaks and editing desperately, after all I was only 17 when I wrote it, but I know how you much you love originality. So I'm enclosing it in this envelope. Maybe you could have a trip down memory lane too?

Paul's been helping me so much, Liam. He took away the razors after I told him about the incident. And it hurts. It hurts to know that I won't ever feel the pain you felt. I want to feel the pain, I want to know how it felt like when the person you loved so much, went behind your back and slept around, weaving you in a web of deciteful lies and cautious yet harsh words.

I woke up yesterday, screaming by the way. I was having one of my withdrawls, I guess. Harry rushed into my room, handed me my pills, all without uttering a single word. After making sure I was alright he went to leave, but I grasped his wrist and asked him to stay. He told me that I was being a hypocrite. That I never stayed when you wanted me to. I never took care of you when you were sick because I was too busy fucking someone else. How I never helped our son back up when he fell because I was merely never there in the first place. And those words hit me, hit me like a million bricks, because they held so much truth and despair, showed me how much of a screwed up idiot I actually was.

I can't take this anymore, Liam. I can't, I just can't. I need to see your face, your eyes, I need to feel your lips, your hand in mine. So I convinced Harry to let me borrow his vehicle to visit you. That's right, baby, I'm coming to visit you.

Please don't push me away when I do. Let me in, let me explain, let me hold you in my arms, let me whisper in your ear, let me tell you that I'm all yours, and that you're all mine. Let me show you how much I love you, let me play with our son, let me kiss you, let me undress you, let me make love to you, let me do all the things I should have done during the last year. Let me make it up to you.

Love,

Cheater

[SEPERATE PIECE OF PAPER, FOLDED AND CRUMBLING BUT STILL READABLE]

Dear Liam,

Your eyes are beautiful

Your laughter is joyful

When your hand wraps up mine

The world seems to shine

The way you poke your tongue out

The way you flinch when someone shouts

The way you giggle and snigger

The way your heart couldn't swell any bigger

The way you can turn my frown into a smile

The way I can hear you for miles

This poem is a bunch of crap

I feel like such a sap

But I've been watching you for a while

Mesmerized by your smile

And it feels so cowardly of me not to come straight up to you

But if you reject me, that would hurt, that's true

So I wanted to ask you this, Liam Payne

Will you help me become sane

Help me get over my fantasies about you

By going on a date with me and making it all true?

Love,

Zayn Malik.

PS- Please excuse my poor writing, Liam, whipped this up as fast as I could because I had to put it in your locker before you reached school :) xxx

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._____.

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~Harry