love, cheater ➳ ziam au

|one|

okay, here goes.

reminder:
italics= letter
normal= reality

|one|

Dear Liam Malik-Payne,

Yes, I am aware that we've practically broken up but you'll always be my husband. So it's nice to write my last name with yours, you know?

Anyway, you might be wondering why I don't just call you (despite the 1027 missed calls I've tried). It's because I've been going to the therapist lately, Liam. Harry told me that I should just go to rehab, and yes that stung, but I guess I deserved that harsh remark. I mean, I have been cheating on you for one year of our two year marriage.

Well, despite Harry's curt and cold pleas to just go to rehab, I decided to go to a therapist instead. He's nice, I guess. His name is Paul, and he's 54 years old and has a wife. I don't think it's a wife though. Must be a cat. Because who in the world would be named Fluffy?

But then again, love is love right? I bet, you told yourself the same thing while I was pounding into Niall. How I was a monster but you stayed, just because you loved me.

Gosh, Liam, you have no idea how fucking sorry I am. It's been, what? 3 months since you left? Yeah. And I feel like shit.

The house just isn't the same, Li. I don't get to hear your beautiful voice in the morning, telling me to wake up. I don't get to wrap my arms around you when you're making breakfast. I don't see Louis' toys scattered around the floor. I don't see you smiling near the doorway when our son tells us how much he loves us.

But then again, it has been a year since that's actually happened.

You have no idea how horrid I feel, Liam. Knowing that I missed our anniversary and Lou's second birthday just because I was too busy fucking Niall.

You should've just left. You should've. Maybe I wouldn't be feeling so much remorse, regret and loss if you had left earlier. You would've been happy and I would've remained fucked up. But you know when you're happy, it's always the greatest feeling that I get.

I was flipping through the Telly the other day while in your shirt. I guess I was just trying to dissolve myself away in something but guess what?

Teen Titans was on.

And I know how fucking stupid I sound right now, Li but a simple little kids show brought back so many memories.

Remember how we used to cuddle up on the couch, Louis in between us, watching re-runs of the same episode again and again just because it was Louis' favorite show? I know you loved it as much as he did, Liam. I could always see how excited you'd be whenever it was on, and I used to coo and both the loves of my life while my son and husband were absorbed in the show.

So I basically watched that show the entire day, hugging a pillow, imagining it was you cuddled up to me. I yelled at all the loving parts, screamed at all the smiley parts and cried at all the funny parts because I couldn't bear watching it without you. But I like hurting myself. So I continued watching it.

I have to go now, Liam. I have an appointment with Paul. I'll post this on the way. Just tell Louis that daddy loves him, yeah?

And that Zayn loves you, Liam. Forever and ever.

Love,
Cheater.

--

Okay, incase you haven't noticed, but this is gonna be in the form of letters.

VOTE

COMMENT

FOLLOW

SHARE

~Harry