The Town Cop

I woke up in a cold sweat. The air was tight in my throat, I had been screaming in my sleep again. I let my body gently fall back on my bed as I stare at the ceiling fan slowly spinning above me. Most dreams you don't remember, but it's hard to forget a dream that is a replaying of the most traumatic night of your life. The nightmares had lessened since that night, but I still got one every week. I turn my head to see my roommate Al sitting up in his bed staring at me. 

"I'm... I am okay, sorry I woke you" I say with a hoarse voice. 

Al stares at me before saying, "are you sure?" I nod at him and he rolls back over. 

2 months ago my high school crush shot the town cop right in front of me. 2 months ago I took his life. Now 2 months later I'm back at college for my senior year, and I am still broken. It's only been 2 months but I am already failing all my classes. I can't focus in class, I replay the events over and over again in my head. I watch myself wash the blood from my hands time and time again. I see them pushing Raymond into an ambulance, and I hear them say he died. I replay it over and over and then I forget where I am. Has 5 minutes passed? or 2 hours? I see his wife not shed a tear when he died 2 more times on the operating table. While she watched me break down and fold onto the floor. I felt, no, I feel so guilty. I killed his brother and nearly got him killed. I ruined his family, I ruined his life. 

Shortly after they said he would recover his wife walked up to me. She knew what had been happening between me and him, but she was scared to confront him about it. She told me if I truly was sorry for what I did I would leave town and never come back. She told me that every time he saw me he'd be reminded of his dead brother. I knew she was right, and although this was just her trying to make me leave her husband alone, I knew she was absolutely correct. I would always be a reminder of death and injury to him. So that night I went home, packed everything for college and drove 4 hours to my university. My roommate from last year, Al, was already there. So I grabbed my stuff and Charlie and we left. I locked up the house and texted my cousin since she wouldn't be back from vacation for another week. 

"headed to uni early, AC still doesn't work" 

My cousin and I shared the house after my parents passed, she always leaves for vacation the last month of summer and gets back around the time I am headed to uni. The house would be fine for a week. It would have to be. 

2 months later these events all still dance around in my head. 

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The next day:

I am walking to Kruger Hall when a man grabs my arm. His grip is strong and his arm had a nice coating of brown fur. I whip around, there's no way it's him is it? My hopes were dashed as I turned and saw a middle aged professor holding a book out to me. 

"You dropped this" he said. I told him thank you and took the book. 

Stupid brain. But I shouldn't be surprised. I was seeing him everywhere. Not just in my dreams. I'm not sure why I want to see him so bad, I think it's more than to say sorry. I consider unblocking his number, but I'm sure his wife had him change it. 

Just like every other day I go to my classes and daydream through them all. I walk out with empty note pads and nothing in my head. This was no way to live. 

Back at my campus housing I reach for my keys, when I see the door is unlocked. Al must have skipped Pysch today. I open the door and throw my book bag up on the table. Charlie doesn't come to greet me, which is very out of character. I turn and look in the living room and there's Charlie on the couch next to Raymond. Wait am I seeing things again?