Just Before Dawn ~ The Supercorp Masquerade AU

She's My Person Too

"Where do I start, Alex? Are you sure you want to hear about this?"

"Just tell me about the dream, Kar."

"It's always the same. She steals my breath with the promise of a kiss. I pull her closer, free of hesitation, and trembling with desire. I feel brave. Each sweep of her lips against my cheek casts a rush of heat through me. We sway together in time, becoming one, but I'm distracted by my need to taste her. I crave her kiss, even though it's not mine to crave. I say a silent prayer to Rao for strength as she dances her fingertips through my hair and along the back of my neck. My heart beats with such vigor I can hear each cycle of blood pumping through my veins with jarring clarity. I try to draw in a breath, but my longing makes it impossible. I ache for her. I try to speak, I try to tell her what I'm feeling, but I'm silenced by something inexplicable. Is it hesitation creeping in, or is it some villain who wants to keep me from the only thing I desire? Lena moves her hands to my face, leaning in, and just before her lips touch mine, I awaken, drenched in sweat; blankets kicked to the floor. That's it. That's the dream."

I let out a painfully long groan and paced the length of my apartment, swinging my arms nervously, waiting for Alex to respond. I felt exposed. It was only seconds before Alex responded, but it felt like days. The whole interaction was surreal. Openly sharing something so intimate felt foreign, but ever since I returned from the Phantom Zone, my heart has been heavy with an aching regret I can't seem to shake. I loved Lena long before Lex shot me with the Phantom Zone projector, but now there was no escape. I needed to tell Lena everything. Once I was back in National City, I shook off the horrors of being trapped in hell, and immediately re-evaluated every decision I made before Lex blasted me into the ether. My conclusion was that I needed to unload the burden that had been weighing on my heart long before the Phantom Zone. Logically, I knew I should run to Lena and confess my infinite and ever-expanding love, but I told Alex and Eliza instead.

As I hoped, they were both kind and supportive. Alex had long suspected I harbored intense feelings for Lena and welcomed me to "the club." Eliza was lovely. Maybe it was because she had a practice run with Alex, or maybe she's the most understanding mother in the world, but she said everything I needed to hear. She told me no matter what challenges Lena and I faced, if I love her, it's all that matters. My heart ached because I realized I spent so many years refusing to call Eliza "Mom" out of respect for Alura, but it was Eliza who was there every step of the way. I knew in my heart she deserved more.

The Phantom Zone has changed me in ways no one can really understand. Facing my mortality makes me appreciate all the love around me. Eliza put a roof over my head and clothes on my back. She has supported and nurtured me, even when I was a hellish teenager full of displaced anger and indignation. She loved me even though I wasn't her child, and if it weren't for her, I doubt Alex and I would be as close as we are. Eliza isn't Eliza. She's Mom.

Confessing my secret to my family should have been cathartic, but the pressure building in my heart demanding I tell Lena everything was unrelenting.

Alex sat back on my couch and rubbed her chin, thoughtfully contemplating her response. I tried to be patient, but my insecurity got the best of me. I stopped in place, waiting, wringing my hands, and biting my lips. I cocked my head to the side and folded my arms in frustration. What was taking her so long?

"Alex? Don't you have anything to say? You asked what I was dreaming about. You told me I didn't need to hold back. Was it too much? I should have kept my mouth shut."

Alex rubbed the back of her neck and smiled.

"I'm glad you told me, Kar. There's just a lot to unpack. Truthfully, that may have been the most beautiful, heartbreaking, and gayest thing I've ever heard. Where have you been hiding all of this passion?"