Between The Lines {H.S}

3. Mar's Letter

Dear Mar,

Hey Sloth Baby.

God, where the hell do I even start? I'm sorry I'm not used to writing to a specific person, all my past entries were of me writing to no one, but fuck how lucky am I to finally have someone so special that I am finally able to write too.

There is so much I need to say and so much you need to know, so on that note I'm going to start from the very beginning.

Curly Fry.

That's what you had called me that one day you opened your front door to me. But what you don't know is that the moment that door had opened, you had me flustered. Now I know what you're thinking, you're probably thinking about how much of a fucking dick I was and that it was impossible for me to be flustered.

Trust me, I was.

I was just a hard ass who let my pride get in the way of it. I always thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on, little constellations on your face, pretty golden eyes that sparkled in the sun, perfect pink lips that I had the absolute honour to be able to kiss. You are and will always be the most beautiful star in the entire galaxy.

The night at the Dallas club, I had spotted you when you walked in, and I remember just needing to get close to you again. And I guess at the time my version of getting close was being an absolute dickhead and scaring you shitless by threatening you, romantic right?

I'm so sorry for how I once treated you, it was always in the back of my mind and you didn't know this but I did live with a little bit of guilt running in the back of my mind.

I had a lot of guilt built up when it came to you baby, mainly because I knew you didn't deserve the life I had dragged you into. I had guilt about all the times I yelled at you when I knew how it made you feel. I felt guilt knowing that I probably could've been better for you.

But you wanna know what I think?

I think that we made the perfect team, no matter all of the times we've had to pick each other up off the floor, wipe each other's tears, reassure one another that everything was going to be alright. Me and you, we had the world in the palm of our hands Mar.

You taught me patience, you taught me how to love and that it was okay to feel vulnerable at times. You taught me how to deal with my panic attacks. Remember that? How you used to place the palm of my hand on your heart to calm me down.

There are a few moments that I will never forget.

Example: I will never forget Italy. We had some of the best times of our lives travelling. Remember when I forced you to sing Living On A Prayer with me as we drive down the coast. You were so nervous to drive that car, but you did it. Marley Delware never turns anything down. That next day was when you faced your fear of heights, sitting along the bridge over the water as I told you every single thing about me. I told you about my darkest moments and you sat there and listened.

Atlantic City, Do Ya Think I'm Sexy by Rod Stewart. Need I say more?

You are a fucking Saint Mar, a fucking Saint that the world doesn't deserve.

There are so many things that I could never look at the same after meeting you, in a good way.

Vinyl records, blades, oversized band T's, peanut butter and pancakes ( fucking gross by the way), beaches, black dresses, the sky, bottles of wine, baby blue nail polish, boxing gloves, honey (but that's something only I would know the reason to).

Waking up to you in the morning felt like a dream, every single time. I would always be up before you, but I cherished those few moments by holding you close to my body and nuzzling my face into the crook of your neck. You always liked to be the little spoon, you also always had a vice grip on my arm that was wrapped around you.

I'll miss your lips on mine, the way my name sounded leaving your mouth, the feeling of your nails down my back.

I wanted to throw up that night I told you that I loved you for the first time. I was so terrified, I thought maybe it would've been too soon and that maybe you wouldn't have felt the same. Loving you is and was scary, only because I didn't want to fuck it up and break your heart.

You always had so much patience with me and I don't know how you did it. Fuck, I was even tired of myself but you always seemed to have a smile on your face even during our toughest times.

Oh, you wanna know something sloth baby? That little demon cat of yours, she was never that bad. Very fucking scary, but I learned to tolerate her. I may or may not have held her a few times when you weren't looking.

On a more serious note, this is not a goodbye letter. This is a letter to remind you how much I truly fucking love you. I fell for you so hard Mar, face first fell head over heels crazy in love with you.

Be strong for me okay? Please.

If you're reading this, it's most likely because I'm no longer there with you but we both knew deep down that this was coming. We just didn't want to say it out loud or admit it.

Remember what you told me about stars and how they orbit in pairs? That will always be us, I'm always going to be with you one way or another because energy never dies. Soulmates can never break, bonds can never fail.

Me and you.

Forever and always.

You ready?

I remember you telling me how you loved big cities instead of small towns. I was planning to take you to New York City, the stars wouldn't be as bright there because of the buildings and all of the city lights but there's always outside of Manhattan.

You should go there one day, for me. For us.

Marley Delware, my second half, my soulmate, my honey, my baby, sloth baby, my muse.

I'm so sorry.

If I could go back in time and make things better, easier, less painful I would in a heartbeat. For you, I would do anything.

Please remember that. Please remember that I would do absolutely anything for you, to keep you safe.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Always,

Curly Fry.