Behind Closed Doors (Erik Menendez)

Six

Erik and I sit down at Olive Garden, per his request. The whole way there we were both rather quiet as he drove, although he did try a few times to spark conversation. I guess it was just me who was quiet. I'm absolutely terrified.

As we pick apart our breadsticks, I begin to get more comfortable as Erik tells me a funny story about the food poisoning he had gotten here not long ago, and of course I make fun of him for still wanting to come back after that. He says nothing can change his view of Olive Garden. I tease that we better not get food poisoning tonight.

My idea was that hopefully, by getting out of the house and doing something else, I would feel a little more comfortable and be able to finally tell him. But we just end up talking about the most random things throughout dinner and I never get a chance to tell him how I feel. He doesn't even prod me for it, probably assuming I'd rather not talk about it.

However, as we walk out of the restaurant and to his car, he brings up his mother. "I hope she didn't make you feel odd. I can understand if that's why you got all uncomfortable there." So, he did notice how uncomfortable I was.

"Oh, no," I deny, of course. "She was fine." He opens the car door for me and continues when we're both inside.

"It's okay if you did; she can be off-putting at times. She's just not been very happy since we moved to California. I think she misses New Jersey a lot." His eyes stare down at his hands.

"That's understandable. I mean, it's a far move. She probably misses all her friends over there; it's like a different world." My voice remains gentle as I can tell this is a sensitive topic for him.

"It is a different world. And I feel guilty because I love it here, my dad loves it here... and she's miserable. Well, uh, I mean, not miserable. Just... just... not the same." He shakes his head as if to shake away all these thoughts. "I'm sorry, Joanne, all I do is tell you about my life. I need to stop that."

Without thinking, I reach across and grab his hand. "No!" He finally meets my gaze. "Erik, I've been wanting you to open up to me. You just seem so... complex." His eyes glance down at me holding his hand, mine looking so small in comparison. Then he looks back at me with a blank expression. He slips his hand away from mine and I bring my hand back to myself in embarrassment.

"What does that mean?" He asks me, seeming insulted. I struggle to even speak.

"I-I... I just..." I can barely even form a thought. I feel so blind-sided right now.

"Whatever you think you know about me, is wrong. I'm not complex. I'm like any other teenage boy here. There's nothing complex about me whatsoever." His furrowed brow says annoyance, but his eyes say fear. He becomes defensive. "If anything, you're complex, Joanne. Your mood changes all the damn time! I will never understand you."

A rage forms deep in my stomach as he speaks. I can't believe he's turning this around on me... all because I said that he's complex! How is that insulting?!

"You need to chill out," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"No, you need to chill out."

"Grow up. Think of a better comeback. You sound 12." The words slip out of my mouth and I'm shocked when they do. I try to avoid looking at him. That was a little too much.

I just about jump out of my seat when he opens the car door and slams it right behind him. He begins pacing in the parking lot with his fingers running through his hair, seemingly trying to calm himself down. My heart pounds as I watch in complete and utter confusion.

Not knowing what to do, I get out of the car and slowly approach him. I notice he's breathing deep and heavy. "Hey... Erik, it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," I say as I get up to him.