Chapter 1: the family

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It started with an apron . . .

Let me introduce myself and my family. Firstly, there is my mother, Gwen. A big strong woman, not unattractive, but of rather manly build and appearance. Next, my eldest brother, Brett, super good-looking, tall, quite well-built and smart. Then Jason, also tall, but more heavily built and tending to be chubby because of his love of junk food. Finally me, the third son, Robin the runt. Whereas my two brothers followed my mother's genes, I took after my late father's - small and delicate.

Brett was only a little more than two years older than me; Mum used to say, "As soon as I got married, I pumped out the three of you and then said 'that's it'."

My mother's life seems to have been beset by tragedy and misfortune. She was a country girl and grew up in a small rural town where her father owned the Feed and Farm Supplies store.

Her parents were not particularly eduction-orientated and Mum missed a lot of school, usually to play/help in the store. While this lack of school attendance was acceptable on the home front, there was constant trouble with the school authorities. As she approached fourteen, the school authorities gave up. From that point onwards and for the next ten years, Mum worked full-time in the store.

For all that time she was not once paid a proper wage. When she needed money, which wasn't very often, her father simply gave her what she needed.

By the time she was fifteen, Mum was driving the forklift (illegally) and sixteen, the delivery truck (again illegally). She also started drinking at the pub with her dad after work. The local copper turned a blind eye - 'Gwen was just one of the boys'.

My mother assumed that because they were busy in the store, therefore they were making good money.

The truth hit home when she was twenty-three. They were bankrupt.

She learnt that her father's financial management skills were abysmal. They had been losing money for years and years; he simply lacked the ability to control outgoings and to set appropriate margins.

They lost the store and their house (which had been used as collateral against ever increasing loans). Mum's father shot himself.

Her mother moved to live with her elder sister. Mum was left in limbo. My father proposed to her and she accepted - she had known him casually for about three years. At that time, Dad was the travelling country representative of a transport company. He would usually call into the store every few months.

Mum admitted that she didn't love Dad or even care for him particularly when she accepted his proposal, she just wasn't sure what else to do with herself. But she always added that she fell in love with him over the next year or so because he was such a terrific bloke. "And he was certainly a man, look how fast the bugger got me preggers, bang, bang, bang."

When he got married, my father transferred to the main office of the transport company for whom he worked, so that he no longer had to travel, but he wasn't exactly paid the 'big bucks' and money was always tight at home.

My parents were an incongruous couple, virtually the wrong way around in the traditional sense. My father did all the cooking and most of the housework. Mother mowed the lawn and did all the maintenance and repairs. Dad also looked after the family finances.

When I started school at age five, Mum began to do some part-time work. She had very limited skills to offer so she didn't earn much. Still, it was a help.

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