Gone (A Klaus and Caroline Fanfiction)

The Things I Want

KLAUS

Klaus fisted his hands tightly by his side, watching as the bumper of the vehicle disappeared from sight. Once it was gone, he returned to his bar and prepared himself a drink, trying uselessly to reign in his mounting anger. He swirled the brown liquid around once, noting the slight shaking of his hands.

How had he let himself entertain the concept of Caroline not leaving, if not just for a moment? Was he becoming so weak minded that he resorted to juvenile fantasies and wishes that were no more than coins tossed in the Trevi Fountain?

Klaus clutched the glass firmly in his hand before casting it to the wall, the force of it sending fragments of glass over the carpet floor. He ran a hand through his hair and took a breath. Perhaps all this was punishment for the things he'd done and through the eyes of Caroline, a part of him, that very human part, understood. Klaus wasn't exactly the ideal image of morality. Not today, though. Today, he had a reason to be the good guy, and he liked to believe he had been, by letting something so beautiful go.

But he couldn't even take credit for it, because even that was selfish; done in the hope that it would bring her back to him in the long run.

He wouldn't have let her go otherwise.

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The silence in the car sat over us like a heavy weight. Maybe Stefan took my quietness as not wanting to talk about it and he seemed content with that.

Me? I was on the other side of the content spectrum, trying to get Klaus and that empty expression in his eyes out of my head. I wanted it to vanish, along with the kiss we'd shared. That kiss....just the thought made me feel like blushing so I squashed it down, burying it deeply in some corner of my mind. I was angry he'd kissed me. It was just adding more confusion I didn't need, and then to turn around and kick me out? His signals were about as mixed as they could get.

It was then that I realized Stefan was saying something and I jerked out of my reverie. "What?"

"Are you okay? You seem....distant." His eyes sparked with unveiled concern.

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, desperate to clear it. "I'm okay. I mean, I've been better. Clearly."

"I know," he said, reaching over to squeeze my fingers. His hand was warm and comforting, and I found myself struck with how normal it felt. There was no electricity. No nervous energy. No nothing. It was just as it was; a friend reassuring another.

I looked down at our hands, feeling a question bubble up to my lips and I pushed it past my hesitancy. "How was it for you? After you turned it back on? Did you....just go back to your regular routine?" I asked.

Stefan shook his head, glancing over to me. "No. It's not really something you can just put away and ignore. You don't return the same person you left as. It's kind of pointless to pretend you have."

I turned in my seat to face him more clearly, mentally mulling over his words. "So....how am I supposed to do this? Just walk back into my house without my mom and....start making college plans? Maybe join another committee? None of that sounds natural to me anymore. In fact, just the thought of having people come up to me and complain about study schedules and lost dormitory applications makes me want to scream."

"Going back doesn't mean trying to fit into who you used to be, Caroline," he said. "You simply do what feels right. If that means selling your house and moving somewhere else, then do it. If that means not going to college, then don't. Take the time you need."

"But what if...." I struggled to pinpoint the right words, squeezing his hand again as if it were lending me the support I was desperate for. "What if....I don't want to come back?"