New start

part 1

I sit in school at my table. The seat next to me is empty. I draw with my fingers along the circle, he carved in a few month ago. "It's like our friendship, it never has an end." did je say to me. And now? Where is he now?! I hear his laugh in my head and feel his warm hand on my shoulder trying to cheer me up after I got a bad grade. I smell the disgusting smell of his deodorant in his room. I climbed into his room. He always left open the window so everytime I felt bad, I could come to him and talk to my best friend. He only closed it on full moons but that was because I wanted it. I never wanted him to get hurt. I feel the cold toy shovel on my fingers. When we first met in kindergarten, we played in the sandpit. He accidentally hit me with his shovel. Since then we were friends. His voice echoes through my head. "Don't be shy y/n! Come up here!" That's what he yelled at me standing on the railing of the bridge in the city. We were 14 back then. I took his hand and he helped me climbing up. Then we sat down and I put my head on his comfortable shoulder. We watched the sunset and how her reflection on the water disappeared. I remember his sobbing after the fight with his parents. I always thought I would help him with everything. But I guess I was wrong. He was the first person I trusted. And the only person I'll ever trust. He was the only one who knew about me. My abilities and what happens to me once a month. He trained with me and tried to help me control my anger. Since I got bitten in 6th grade, he helped me. I remember the time where I was very sad. I even hurt myself. He always wanted me to stop so he took the scissors I used and carved the circle into the table. "It's like our friendship, it never has an end." His words echo through my head again and again. From far away I hear someone calling out my name. The voice gets louder.

Teacher: Y/n?!

I look up into my teacher's angry eyes.

Teacher: Are you okay?

I nod.

Leon: NO! SHE WAS THINKING OF HER GAY BEST FRIEND! OH WAIT HE'S DEAD!

He and his friends laugh. I jump up and rush to him. I grab his throat and pull the tiny boy up the wall.

Y/n: What was that?

I hear his voice in my head. "Y/n stop! He's not worth it! Let him go and ignore him!" I feel his hand wrapping around my wrist and slowly pulling it back. I don't notice that my hand actually pulls back. Leon falls down gasping for air. His friends look down at him and then to me. They have anger but also fear in their eyes.

Teacher: Y/n! I think we need to talk.

We go outside and she closes the classroom door.

Teacher: I know he was your best friend y/n, but you can't act like this!

Y/n: I'm sorry! Can you just call my parents or something?

Teacher: Listen y/n! I care about you! I know how close you were and how much you two shared anything! But-

Y/n: No you don't understand it! No one does!

Teacher: No, of course we don't! But we can try to help you!

Y/n: Helping me? Have you heard what Leon said?!

Teacher: Of course I did! But his death did also hurt others!

Y/n: May be but not Leon! He always made fun of him! I'd even call it bullying!

Teacher: Then let's talk to him!

Y/n: Talking?! It's always talking! But guess what, talking didn't safe him! Talking didn't stop him from killing himself! Talking, talking, talking! We always talked but did it help? NO!

The teacher looks at me.

Teacher: Maybe you should take some time off!

Y/n: Sure, why not? So I can climb into my dead best friends room and sit down in his bed. Crying into his pillow for hours while feeling his arms wrapping around your body. Smelling his deodorant what usually made your nose die. Holding the teddy bear in your arms, he and you made at a shopping mall at vacation at one of those "make your own stuffed animal"-shops.

She looks down.

Y/n: The only thing I need right now is normality. Going to school everyday. Seeing those assholes and stupid girls ever god damn day. Writing down complicated calculations in my maths exercise book and rising my hand to ask for I can go to the toilet.

Teacher: Then go back inside there and pretend nothing happened! But it'll destroy you! Talk to someone y/n! Let someone help you!

Y/n: I don't need any help! I can heal faster than any other humans!

I push open the door and sit down on the old woody chair. I bury my face in my chaotic english exercise book. The teacher continues the lesson and a few minutes later the freeing school bell rings. I pack together my stuff and rush outside. I pass the other students and leave the building. I walk down the dark and empty alley which leads to our apartment. I jump over the wall which is supposed to separate the two the two ways but it's not. Not for a werewolf. When I land, my eyes glow red for a second. I see it in one of the dirty windows. I go to the iron ladder and climb up to my room. I climb inside and lock the window behind me.

Y/n: Mom? Dad? I'm home!

No answer. They're probably not home yet. I put down my things and go to the staircase. I jump down and land on the woody floor. I go to the fridge and take out the Spaghetti mom made for me yesterday evening.

Y/n *whispers*: Thanks mom!