Big Dreams

2: Perturbation

Moving trucks interrupted my sleep. Waking up with the sun wasn't my intention on a Saturday nor was another one-ended argument downstairs.

My mother screams, drinks, and destroys things to get her point across. My father is like the calm after a storm. He sits, listens, and calmly speaks his peace. They are complete opposites. Winter and summer. Fire and Ice. Sick and healthy. In their case, they didn't become more attracted or bound together because of their differences.

I climb out of my window and initiate my plan to calm. My plan to escape from a harsh reality. Their broken marriage and souls, my broken sense of reality, my broken pieces. All broken but in different ways.

The words spill from a deep place in my heart. I take a moment to pause and understand my words and the thoughts they align with. I pause a long pause.

It's him. The boy from the field has moved in next door. I'm frozen in time, looking over at the boy they call Bleau. The beautiful boy nailing posters on his walls will blaring music flooding to my ears.

The piece of roof I've claimed as my comfort spot since I was little has been compromised. I can see him and he can see me from here. We now live side by side, living two different lives. My presence isn't known by him. He doesn't know how far but close we are.

Perturbation- to throw into great disorder. This is the perfect word. The meaning fits the atmosphere created, disruption. He has disrupted everything. I feel a pull to a person I barely know. He knows nothing of the curse-filled with no magic. My mind filled with words or my parents screaming below.

The sweat of the day glimmers on his back. Muscular and well-built is the only way to describe his body. He looks strong and well-disciplined. I stare for so long I memorize every curve and dip in his figure. Every time I turn to look away the thoughts come rolling back, pulling my eyes to him.

My mother bursts into my room, making the window shake with the force of an army of men. "You are about to miss dinner and if I see you out there again I will push you down. You never learn." I climb back in, sneaking glances at my new neighbor.

"Maybe you shouldn't be yelling and throwing things at your husband. Once you stop trying to be so controlling over him and learn to mind your fucking business I wouldn't have to lay on the roof to escape your screaming." She turns to me, stopping every motion.

The ice I'm skating on is thin but I continue to jump and swirl in the air in my mind. I'm not frightened by the look she gives or the threats that spill to the kitchen. I'm unaffected and unruffled by her attempts to belittle me. "Are you done or do you want me to continue ignoring you?"

"You have one more time to do that! One before I leave you to fend for yourself."

I turn away, grabbing an apple, and leaning against the counter. "Your empty threats don't frighten me." I take a bite from my apple, keeping eye contact when the doorbell rings. "Who is that?"

"The new neighbors. We invited them over because they have a lot of unpacking to do."

I grabbed the door and allowed them into our home. A home that doesn't feel like home but is home nonetheless.

"Hello, you must be, Faye." This woman feels like sunshine. Her arms wrapped tightly around my body. Her skin is soft and silky. She is the perfect image of a mother. She broke the hug, holding me by my shoulders. "I'm so sorry. I'm Angela and a big hugger as you can probably tell." She hugged the rest of my family with the same fire and energy.

Her husband Richard, but prefers Rick is stern and clean cut. He has casual clothes, but I can tell his regular attire isn't so normal. In comes their son. He looks at everything but my face until he does. Time stops along with the chatter of our parents. He recognizes me.

"Hello, Blaeu."

"You live here?"

His look of surprise compelled me to be neutral. My movements are made with precision. I brush past him to close the door and lead him to the dining room.

"I love how you've decorated your home."

"Thank you I try."

Their small talk continues but I busy myself with making their plates. They all sit in the dining room, waiting for my return. All of them including Blaeu lead a conversation until I feel him by my side. "Enjoying your time so far?"

"You're going to act like you don't know me the whole night?"

I turned to him with the knife still in my hands. "That's just the thing. You don't know me and I don't know you." I turned back and continued rationing the food.

"We could pretend we don't know of each other but what would the point of that be? A show for our parents or your entertainment?" I laugh, still cutting the steak and plating it. "I guess you'll have to find out." I push two plates in his hands and shove him to the kitchen.

Their conversation is bland only about the basics. School, grades, colleges. The stuff you talk about with your distant family. Somehow the conversation has landed on relationships, leaving me intrigued.

"Do you have anyone in mind you want to date because Bleau doesn't?"

"Are you trying to be my wingman?" He laughs. The same laugh from the field. The few moments where he found me entertaining. "Of course not, son." Her hand migrated to his, with a wink. "We don't think she's ready for dating." I look at my mother and almost spit fire at her, but I give a smile.

"Ignore her she can be so protective." I managed to get the whole table to laugh for the rest of the night. I could feel her gaze and frustration grow hotter with every joke and eruption of laughter.

"Thank you so much for hosting us and feeding us this food." My father refused to cook so I filled in. He used to teach me when I was little but stopped when the fighting got worse. "Of course come right over anytime, Angela." She paused to drop her filter and look at me. "You know I think it would be wonderful if you would let Faye help out with unpacking. It's the weekend so she might as well."

My punishment is helping them unpack. Has she lost her mind? "I would love to if it's alright. I would love to get out of the house." We slowly migrated to the front of the house by the door.

"That would be great you can help me with the kitchen or help Bleau figure out how he's going to decorate." I look at him for a long time, nodding my head. "Sure. Whatever help I can be!"

Angela and Richard leave the house, leaving Bleau and me.

"Faye, " he whispers.

"Bleau." He turns on his heels, letting me watch as he disappears into his new home.