oops! ➸ one-shots

hello?

louis looked in the mirror. shades of purple painted the skin under his eyes, his lips were cracked and scabbed, his hair seemed to be permanently disheveled, his cheeks were hollow, and he was pale as the white marble counter he stood behind.

he had three bright orange bottles sat in front of him. each bottle had about, say, ten pills in it. louis planned to take all thirty.

he didn't want to be here, in this world; he didn't want to be anywhere. this was the only option, he felt.

he imagined the scenario of who would find him and when, but all he could think of was his neighbor smelling something coming from louis' apartment and telling the landlord to check it out.

honestly, he didn't think anyone cared about him enough to check on him (to find his body), if he hadn't been to work or even out of the house for a week. or two.

he carefully poured the pills out onto his marble counter into three piles of ten. one set was blue, another was a tanish red, and the final set was plain white, which practically blended with the countertop.

he arranged them into horizontal lines, dwindling on the fact they were going to end his life. louis wasn't sure what was to come afterwards - after death; he didn't know what to believe in. he just hoped it was nothing, that nothing would come next.

while louis started to push the pills into another pattern, he wondered why he was even stalling like this. did he expect someone to come in, and tell him to stop? no. was he expecting a call? no.

really, in his mind, he thought nothing should be stopping him. yet, he found himself pushing the pills into zigzagged lines, as if he didn't want what was to come next.

but he did. at least, he thought he did. he thought about it more, and there was a tiny part of him that still saw a purpose, a light, a certain kindness in the world. there were kids laughing and parents fondly watching them; there were people experiencing their first kisses and there were others snuggled with their pets in bed, watching movies. there were warmth and smiles and good things in the world, and of course, this one part of louis had to point it out now.

louis still didn't think he belonged here. there may be happiness and joy, but it wasn't for him. he stayed miserable, despite the good in the world.

he tried to get better. he really, really tried. he exercised and ate healthy and went to support groups and talked on hotlines, but nothing ever made him want to stay.

life, to louis, was proving to be a worthless struggle of trying to swim with bricks chained to his ankles.

yet, some tiny part of him wanted to keep fighting the tide and find out a way to release his imprisoned ankles.

though this part of him was barely influential at any other time, for some reason, as the colored tablets sat in front of louis, he listened. he listened to it tell stories about miracles and genuinely good people.

then, he decided. this tiny whisper of potential caused louis to rethink his actions, and he decided to give the world one more chance.

he was going to close his eyes and dial a random number on his phone. if someone answered, he wouldn't take the pills. but, if there was no response, he would satisfy his temptations and swallow all thirty.

he figured there were a lot of phone numbers not in use or invalid, so the chances were slim that he'd actually get someone on the other end.

so, he picked up his phone with a shaky hand, shut his tired eyes, and clicked numbers until he had the proper amount of digits. he didn't bother to open his eyes before hitting 'call' and bringing the phone up to his ear.