The nights | Woosan

Chapter 3

   " Well you see I don't know how to go around this, like i want to do things that are normal, you know." Wooyoung idea of a bucket list wasn't of that i want to go jump from an airplane. It was more of i want to live like a normal human waking us in the morning wanting at least to get out of bed. Sometimes goals or to do lists doesn't need to go around saving the world and cleaning the ocean from plastic, but more of wake up and try to brush your teeth without the want of crying over how much toothpaste is left. Living in a constant state of depression is weird, you know i can cry over not having any chocolate left, the problem my friend is not the chocolate, i wish it was, the problem is all the build up that lead to the moment of self hate and death thoughts.

   "Okay deal! Let's start easy then. What comes to your mind when i say goals?" Seonghwa said trying his best to help the younger.

    "Umm... getting fucked until I can't think straight anymore so I don't jail myself in my own thoughts maybe...?" Wooyoung said closing one eye as if he was trying to make it a passing joke when both him and his friend knew so well that this was the only thing his left braincells can think about.

   Seonghwa chuckled as he added with a smirk " you know i can help you with that..."

   "Ew Hwa! Baby we did it once and yeah you are great and all, but man I couldn't look you in the eyes for a month after." They both broke into laughter as this was a really embarrassing topic after a half drunk night few years ago, but now it became a laughing matter between the group friends.

"Pussy" Seonghwa said sticking his tongue out.

   "Ok 12 year old Seonghwa, back to my list. Wait i want to write them down." He said holding his phone entering the notes app and adding a new file.

   He started typing some random things, like go on a road trip or buy my first dildo and so on. It was so simple and for a normal person pointless, but for him it made so much kore sense as it can pull him out of his void. You see he could have done it without telling anyone, but he specifically told Seonghwa so he can have someone nag him about it and push him through.

"Okay

Number
27- kiss someone on a snow mountain
28- visit home
29- fall in love and go on a first date with them"

   The last 3 had more meaning to him, well at least the last two. Wooyoung always had a weird dream of kissing someone in the sold enjoying their body heat with a view of snow covered forests in-front of them. Everyone wants a kiss on the beach or I don't know in-front of the Eiffel tower, but not him. It was weirdly specific that Seonghwa questioned his friends taste in life after hearing it.

   The last two were more challenging for him as he hasn't visited home for a while and a good reason now. And the last one was the most challenging one as he never imagined what love can be, for him how can someone who doesn't love themselves know what loves toward others feel like.

   He was in a relationship before, but he couldn't feel love. He always thought he was different from everyone who can easily fall in love. Sex and caring was his own definition of love as he never tasted anything else.

"Nice nice, what else?"

"That's it"

"What do you mean that's it I thought it was the beginning only or something."

"No these are the things i want to do only."

"Man at least reach 30 what a weird number to stop at." Seonghwa said with a questioning look on his face.

"No i like it that way."

"Man you are weird, whatever if you are happy with it then that's what matters."

   Wooyoung knew that Seonghwa will question it, yet he didn't care much. For him special numbers were weird, lit felt like an OCD. Why 30 not 26 and why January 1 not June 16? What is this obsession with pretty numbers. So he, from a young age always done things on random dates or numbers.

"I make my own numbers special." He said with a little smile of satisfaction.

   They sat a little longer talking about nothing and everything. Just hanging out per usual.

"By the way Hwa what are you doing tonight." Wooyoung asked without actually caring for the answer.

"Nothing much, i think i'll hang with my family or something."

"No parties today?"

"I think there is a party not sure who's hosting it though, why are you asking as if you go even when i beg you."

"I don't know I thought I'll check some party out but since it's no someone we know, not going."

"Who are you and what have you done to my hoe?"

Wooyoung hut Seonghwa playfully at his comment.

"You know good party with some drinks and a good dick can do me a huge favor today."

Seonghwa nodded without adding much.

"Wait i need to ask what is up with Yeosang and Jongho?" Seonghwa ask raising his voice a little as he was trying to amply something.

"What is up with them?"

"Oh right you weren't at Juyeon's last weekend."

"Okay fill me up..."

"Gladly!" Seonghwa smirked at his own childish reply earning a smack on the back of the head from Wooyoung.
"So we were all sitting as usual not even drinking it was surprisingly pg you know. Everyone was busy with something and I turned to ask Yeosang about a topic I don't even remember. I think they thought no one can see them but Jongho was clearly putting his hand down Yeosang's pants."

Wooyoung mouth was wide open trying his best not to laugh as the older continued.

" and it wasn't from the front man."

"So he was fingering him right there when everyone was in the room?" Wooyoung said through a laughter of disbelief from what he was hearing.

"I mean yeah they were sitting a little far from everyone and Yeosang was doing a good job holding his voice in, but now I can't sleep at night."

"Did they know you saw them."

"Hell no... that would have been so weird. I tried my best not to shout what happened to my babies, when did they grew up so fast." He said fake crying put his hand in a dramatic was over his face. Making Wooyoung laugh at his friend.

"Woah who would have thought Yeosang my innocent friend can be fucking and hiding it from me."

"He don't say anything either, don't make it weird maybe i was wrong."

"Yes whatever man, what do you think i would say, hey are you and jongho sucking each other's dicks?"

"Okay Wooyoung sure you are so edgy wow." A disgusted expression was all over Seonghwa's face.

   After a little more time both friends left the coffee shop saying their goodbyes as each went back to their places. Wooyoung entered his room thinking about the list he wrote today, guilt eating his insides. He thought what would Seonghwa feel or think when he discovered the true meaning behind this bucket list. What would he feel when he knows what he just helped his friend with. When you get back to being all alone in your room after a long day all the feelings rush in. Crowds tend to take away unpleasant things, and feed in you new ones.

   He throw himself on the bed without changing his clothes. Looking at the ceiling and thinking.

"Is any of this even worth it....?"

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If anyone have feedback or any comments please tell me it helps 🥰

The story is a little slow still, but it will go faster later on. I didn't proofread anything so sorry for any mistakes i'll try to fix things later.

Hope you enjoyed!!🥰