HYSM

Ten

Six days on - luggage loaded, passengers aboard and air con typically faulty - a jaded old coach pulled out of the university car park to set off on its four hour crawl towards Hua Hin, dirty grey diesel fumes spluttering forth from its exhaust pipe, clambering impishly up into the city's polluted, claggy airways.

It was mid afternoon - Sun still sailing high and serene in the sky - elevated buzz amongst the venturers, that 'holiday feeling'.

They compared luggage content lists, swapped horror stories of near misses of the departure time following a multitude of mishaps, and gobbled entire snack supplies before the groaning vehicle had even made it to the highway.

Laughter resounded, cheery exhilaration abundant. Faces were animated - sparkle-eyed and pink-cheeked, as their owners anticipated days of beach games, fresh seafood feasts, sightseeing, bar crawls, and perhaps a small amount of project work on the side (a sigh from the accompanying faculty staff).

Row upon row of giggly, wriggly youthful noise - all except one.

The row which Mew and Gulf occupied alone was loud only in its silence. Weighted air between them once again. Weighted...waiting.

Mew had bounded breathlessly onto the coach as one of the last to arrive, to find his project partner already seated, head leant against the grimy window and sweat trickling down his hairline, no intention to look up or greet him. So he had simply taken his seat and, after brief interactions with nearby familiars - Tul and substitute partner Noom diagonally across the aisle from him, and nods to Gulf's buddies War and Yin behind - Mew had inserted white ear buds, rested head back against the scratchy, heated fabric of his chair, and closed his eyes to drift musically away. His favourite escapism: Transported to a peaceful place of endless possibilities by the swirling tails of intricately patterned melodies, and the instrumental shimmering of soaring strings.

Because Mew knew Gulf from the inside out. Knew that he couldn't be pushed, in any context - it would only ever result in him side stepping out of the way, foolish instigator falling face down onto a gravelly floor to split a chin open, or graze outstretched elbows and hands. By the time their head raised, Gulf would be gone, leaving them pondering in humiliation whether he had even been there in the first place.

It was Gulf's way. He was enigmatic and uncatchable, elusively ungraspable. Still that feisty toddler who's first and only word for almost a full year between 14 and 24 months had prophetically been: "No".

He had to come round to things himself, in his own time. Had to feel that thoughts and actions - decisions and ideas - were his.

Autonomy and independence. Two bricks of Gulf's foundations. Bricks that Mew truly cherished.

So the elder understood now that he should leave him in his mental solitude - just as he had never attempted to ask why Gulf had written his name next to his own that day. Let the road side coconut sellers, floral pavement displays and blur of passing vehicles in every shape, size and condition feel the burn of Gulf's glare for now.

He would talk, when he was ready.

//

As the coach progressed from Route 35 out of the greater Bangkok area onto the only slightly less manic Route 4 that threaded Southwards down the Eastern coast of the country - the government dubbed 'Thai Riviera' - the stifling air at last began to cool a little. A welcome, lively sea breeze buffeted through the open windows of the coach, flapping sun-faded curtains wildly to bring salt to the group's lips and a fresh wave of frenzy to their hearts.

A female voice towards the rear of the aisle began to sing, then soon a chorus had joined, and the collective sound of near to a hundred propelled the coach onwards, driver joining the impromptu choir - eyes misting above his moustache as he reminisced his own misspent youth and the lessons he hadn't learnt from it.

By the time the merry travellers reached their final destination at just after seven o'clock in the evening - stale, sweaty bodies unfurling to stretch out compressed limbs as they staggered down the three coach steps for numb feet to meet sandy road at last - if anything, Gulf's mood had grown only more darkly distant.

He was all pouts and clouded brow, hair pulled into an apple bun on his head, eyebrows knitted and fists clenched.

It resembled nature's warning of a tsunami, Mew reflected. The eerie pull back and withdrawal of the ocean's waters in the moments before they surged forwards, full force in fearsome and unstoppable tidal wave.

So it was, that the two men retrieved their luggage in silence. Checked in to the Golden Crane hotel in silence. Climbed four flights of stairs to their room in silence. Used the key card to enter in silence. Surveyed the setting - clean, spacious, light and modern room with twin beds, en suite facilities and a balcony that overlooked a palm fringed swimming pool below - in...silence.

Craving an escape from the oppressive heaviness, yet sensing that this was no time for their usual puckish teasing and jokes, Mew went to take a shower. And when he exited the bathroom minutes later, wet hair slicked back and only a pair of loose, black jogging bottoms on his body, he found Gulf curled up asleep over the covers of the bed that was positioned against the inner wall.

He was almost baby-like, Mew thought, unintentionally tender smile spreading from lips to eyes as he surveyed his Nong, lying - knees hugged to chest, so defensive even in slumber.

Leaning over him, just for a fleeting moment, Mew stroked a hand gently across the younger's soft hair. Traced closed eyelids with his thumb to whisper "fan dee na krab".

It was the very reason Mew had avoided their being alone together. He didn't care if Gulf saw his lust - it was his warmth that he fought to protect.

Yet here they were, in a private room for the next four nights, and Mew still not quite understanding how it had happened.

"Oiiii" - an exhalation of trepidation, disbelieving head shake accompanying.

He retreated now, to the bed nearer the external balcony - tested the mattress springs with one hand, before stretching out on his back to rest weary eyes. Only for a few seconds - he reassured himself - then he would locate a hairdryer and dress quickly to meet friends for dinner. Just a few seconds...

But when Mew's eyes blinked open - disoriented and heart racing - the room was shrouded in darkness. A shadowy figure sat on the edge of the bed beside him, hand resting on his bare chest.

Eyes shone as glistening depths, in the reflection of a neighbouring balcony light.

And Gulf finally opened his mouth to speak for the first time in twelve hours:

"I want you"