To the beginning ©

Eighteen

×Outside the blogx×

Every now and then I think about when we were together

Like when you said you felt so happy that you could die

I told myself that you were the right one for me, but I felt so lonely in your company

But that was love and a pain that I still remember

The soft notes glided easily between my fingers just like the lyrics of the song in my throat. I closed my eyes, enjoying the tune I produced myself, letting a few tears trail down my cheeks.

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.

Like resignation at the end, always at the end.

So when we realized that we couldn't make sense, well, you said we'd still be friends.

But I admit I was glad it was all over

Since what happened days before, I had not been able to think, or create, in my own music, so I dedicated myself to looking for songs that I had downloaded on my cell phone and I listened to them all day. I had finally gone on vacation, so I did not know what to do with my pathetic, just sing sadly, waiting for Karma to come and ask what is wrong. Sometimes I wonder if he cares about me.

But you didn't have to cut me

Pretend nothing had happened, no, no, and that we were never nothing

And I don't even need

your loveBut you treat me like a stranger and it feels so
Lasted

I understood his attitude, I analyzed it every day, but I just kept silent. Sometimes it is so transparent, but other times it is too confusing and I even have a hard time reading it. It felt awful chasing him, being in love with him, but at the same time he loved the feeling.

You didn't have to fall so low

Have your friends collect your history and then change your number

However, I suppose it is not necessary.

Now you're just someone I used to know

I was reconsidering the idea of ​​going to Korea on vacation, also buying an apartment and living alone. And even if I didn't want to, thinking alone made me even more depressed. Because not having Karma chattering made me feel lonely.

Now you're just someone I used to know.

Perhaps becoming independent from Karma was the solution to everything. Separating myself from him would possibly break those insane feelings I had for him. Because it was what he needed, what he wanted, he no longer wanted to feel pain, he did not want to feel anything.

Now you're just someone I used to know.

The sound of the door opening made the song stop abruptly. The sweet melody turned to noise, then nothing. I got up, leaving the room where the instrument was, ignoring the presence of the redhead as he had done days before. He sought my gaze, I avoided it with an impassive expression. "Nagisa ..."

I took my cell phone, the keys too. I got out of the apartment as fast as I could, and when I made sure Karma wasn't following me, I dialed the person I needed the most. "Hi, can we meet?"