To the beginning ©

Twenty-seven

×Outside the blogx×

When I returned to Japan, the feeling of loneliness became even stronger.

The day at school was normal, nothing had changed. I would have preferred time to be eternal, but of course it was time to go home.

I was about to call out to Ritsu, my manager and faithful companion, but a scream echoed in my eardrums, forcing me to turn around.

"Nagisa!" It was Karma. My heart raced like never before, I wiped the sweat from my hands with my clothes. When he was in front of me I waited for everything: blows, screams, an explanation, a scolding. I swear I expected all of that except for a hug and a whisper of relief. "I'm glad you're well, I'm so glad ..."

"Karma?"

"was so worried, I thought something had happened to you, only the worst scenes you can imagine came to my mind. I'm sorry Nagisa, I'm so sorry ..."

"Karma of what ..."

"I must admit that without that idiot Asano I would be dead right now." Now I know that I can trust him when it comes to you. I think I'll have to apologize later.

"What?" I couldn't see Karma's face well, but I felt a couple of drops falling on my hair. Is crying? I felt lucky because there was no one around us, it seemed that the strange situation was in Akabane's favor, and I couldn't help but feel a bit reassured by that, although I should feel uneasy.

"I was so desperate." He blurted out after a few seconds in silence. His broken voice, hesitant, full of feeling, moved me. "For a moment I thought that I would never see you again, more than from afar being Mokuren, and I felt miserable, alone, unfortunate. Why is it that when I try to do things well, it turns out the opposite? I definitely wouldn't be happy with just watching you perform." I panicked.

"Wait, did Asano tell you about Mokuren?"

"Hey? No, of course not, I always knew." What? What did you say?

Faced with so much nervousness, I exploded. "Then why? Why did you pretend you didn't know anything? Why did you only make it harder !?"

Karma separated from me. "What are you talking about, Nagisa? Was it hard for you to hide something so important from me? Come on, you weren't even planning to tell me."

"That's not..."

"Are you going to deny me?" When I dared to look him in the eye, I couldn't answer. His pale face and sad look made me feel guilty. He had dark circles and looked extremely tired. He separated himself completely from me and looked at the ground as if he found it interesting. "Did you think that would bother me?" I've never been so proud of someone, Nagisa! I waited patiently for you to dare to tell me, however that statement never came. Despite everything, you still don't trust me enough, right?

"That's not ... No, I'm not ... It's not ..." Not knowing what to say, I let all the emotions build up in my eyes and the first tears finally rolled down my cheeks. My hands shook and gripped my sides. "I did not want to..."

"Why, Nagisa? Why when I told you that I loved you did you think it was a simple joke? Why did you show all your emotions to Asano? Why can you make me fucking jealous in less than a second?"

"K-Karma ..."

"Why are you so damn perfect and unreachable?"

"Relaxation..."

"Because I love you so much?"