♥︎ polygrumps : pen and paper ♥︎

Depressed!RubberBang

a/n. basically my feelings put onto one of my otps. hah torturing me is fun at 12 am! :D

Synopsis: Ross and Dan were just recording, until the Australian brought up his childhood, and kept saying "what if"s that were so negative it made Dan angry. What if they yelled, and one of them died? What if..
--
Ross held the Xbox controller as Dan held him close and cuddly. They were recording for Steam Train, and the game was going into a childhood that was depressing. Then, Ross began to speak negatively. "Y'know, what if I never was in Game Grumps?" He sat up, staring at Dan and placing the controller down. The other man, confused, tilted his head and spoke softly. "What do you mean..?" He blinked, mumbling 'Cut this out, Barry' and letting Ross speak.

"Well, I mean, what if I never agreed? What if I never met you? What if I never loved you..?" He choked on the lump in his throat as Dan stared in anger. "What if I never dated you..?" Ross looked at Dan with glossy eyes, and soon was gripped tightly on the arm by his partner. "Shut up! Live in the present, not the past.." He hissed quietly, getting up and bringing Ross up with him. But he kept going. "What if you never cared?" His tone got louder, and he freed his arm from Dan's grip. "What if, Daniel, you never loved me?" Just the simple mention of his full name, Daniel, sent him into rage. "What if, Ross, I never did this?" He raised his hand, and the other braced. But instead, a hug was placed on the body of Ross. "What if, Dan, I never told you..to get away and never come back?" He shoved Dan, walking out briskly whilst tears skimmed his eyes. He turned toward the exit and grabbed his keys, unlocking the door and rushing towards his car. Dan stood in the room, unaware of what to do. No one was there to see it. No one was there to hear it. No one was there to help him.

His knees buckled, and he fell to the ground and sobbed, and weeped, too confused and angered by Ross.
--
Going back to Ross, he slammed his car door shut and stormed into the house. "I don't need Dan, I don't need Arin. Suzy. Game Grumps. Dan. Barry. Kevin. Dan. RubberNinja. My fans." Dan...

He grabbed his phone and shook, knowing what he was going to do. He started texting Dan a long-ish letter, more or less something more. Once he had it typed, he didn't hit send, he left it there and went to find what could help. Pain killers, sleeping pills, and perscribed medications stood out to him. And the one he took was pain killers, 8 to be in fact. He pressed 'Send' on his phone and popped the pills, smiling and laying down on the couch. And his eyes felt like closing, and black filled everything in his mind.
--
Dear Leigh Daniel (Dan <3),
I'm sorry, but I just couldn't take it. We always fought, and this pushed me. By the time you find my home, I'll hopefully be dead. Tell the grumps that I loved 'em, and Holly that I still care about her, even though we broke up. I hope you finally realize that I was curious, and depressed, but so well at hiding it. I want you to know that I love you so much, and that this has been the last thing you'll ever see. I want you to send this to them, or show them, my parents, and fans. Accept the fact that I'm dead, please.

The sun will rise and shine, the moon will light up the night. The stars will stay the same, the earth will rotate. You'll go on, and on, until natural death. Everything will stay the same, and no one will notice. You're gonna be okay, fine, whatever. Arin and Suzy will still be together, Kevin and Barry will be editing, and you'll be soloing Steam Train. But, you'll replace me..not only work-wise but also..romantically.

One last thing, Dan..
What if I'm still alive?
-Ross, XOXO