House Empty Like My Heart

Chapter 23

Tw// the content might be triggering to people with eating disorders so I prefer to leave a warning just in case.
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"I'm so excited!"

Two weeks of grounding have passed at an excruciatingly slow pace but finally, I was free. And being free meant a chance to pursue my modeling dreams.

"I don't know why dad allowed it" Max growled unhappy that he has to drive me for the photo session, I learned that he spends all of his free time ice skating. Unless his newfound, annoying sister finds a way to ruins his plan.

I realized that grumpiness was a part of Max's personal charm, he didn't mean it in a bad way, at least not always. I noticed that he was only genuinely happy when skating.

He was no longer unhappy with me being at the house, which was stated clearly by him at the same time I was informed to not expect coddling because I'm still an annoying little sister, I was fine with that.

I smiled at him and I could see his eyes going soft for a moment. I felt like I was knowing him better with each passing day.

"I will be back, just call when you're done with this shit"

"Okay!" I jumped out of the car ecstatic to try out something new. Sure I was nervous and I felt like I don't deserve the opportunity. I didn't feel like I am pretty at all but the fact that they found me... maybe they saw something in me I didn't see? And Jenny called me pretty. That's something, right?

I got hair and makeup done by a nice lady named Carrie, she was very talkative and I relaxed a bit, that was until a fashion designer came in.

She was the stern-looking woman who looked at me in a judgmental way, I remember her from the casting. She had a very sour look at that time as well. Maybe it's just the way she was after all she decided to hire me.

"Put her into the clothes we discussed, Ivan," she said to her assistant who nodded, and soon I needed to change.

I realized there's no fitting room and I was forced to change my clothes in the room swarming with other models and other employees. The photographer itself had five assistants and they were all discussing something loudly, some people were working on the set, someone brought fake smoke and started spreading it over the area.

When I tried to put on myself the clothes I was given I realized the zipper won't cooperate with me.

"This dress doesn't fit her. She's too chubby" someone said loudly and I felt like I'm dying out of shame. During the casting that dress was fitting well did I got fatter? How embarrassing. Will they kick me out?

They didn't. I received another fit. It was a blue one-piece suit

"You need to be careful at what you eat Ellie" Anastasia scolded me and I nodded quickly. I felt like crying, feeling like a failure.

Then, my misery shifted to anxiety. I was informed that there will be a male model.

The boy was my age. He was extremely handsome. He had messy light blonde hair and brown eyes, he was almost a head taller than me but as I learned we were the same age. He was wearing a jacket in the same color as my suit and black pants made from material I couldn't name.

"You can't be separate entities, Ellie, look at him, that's good. Okay, don't move now"

"That's great, let me see your other hand. Okay, now good. The smoke is perfect now, that's great"

"You look pretty" the boy whispered into my ear and smirked when he saw me blushing.

"Now, hold hands with each other" the photographer instructed and my face turned into crimson red color, for some reason I sensed that the boy is finding it entertaining.

"What's your name, beautiful?"

"Ellie"

"Ellie, nice to meet you. My name is Nick"

Little did I know back then that it won't be my last encounter with Nick.

My first photoshoot was a bittersweet experience.

On the one hand, I loved how the pictures turned out. I loved how the photographer praised me when I was doing a good job, I met pretty boy Nick and overall I felt like my first job was a success.

On the other hand, I was really worried and sad over the remark of the designer. I really wanted to continue getting jobs I wanted to be better. That's why the first thing I did when I came back home is research. I checked out the diets models went through and I decided to write on the grocery list for Jacquline low calories products. I hoped she won't be too bothered with the number of apples I wanted her to buy for me. I wasn't planning on eating anything else this week until I lose enough weight.

I called Jenny.

"You want me what?" Jenny didn't sound like he likes my idea at all.

"You can do this right?"

"I mean, sure it's not like my parents would find that I ordered the pills but are you sure?"

"I'm sure, please Jenny. Help me out. I got the money I will give them to you tomorrow at school"
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Dear Readers,
I will post the second part of the chapter today ❤️