Following Him (Rivamika)

Chapter 18

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Mikasa birthday was truly in her top three birthdays, not her number one since that will always be kept by having a birthday with her parents. Having her mother bake a cake in secret while her father took her out hunting with him and to grab extra fire wood, it may not have been much but it was special to her. More so now she'll never be able to have a birthday with them again, they were truly gone and she didn't notice how much she's going to miss them until the night before her thirteen birthday, when her father didn't come read her a story or her mum telling her to wish upon a story for her dream to come true.

She wished on any and all stars she saw from Levi bedroom window, praying and wishing as hard as could for her parents to be there when she woke up .. but they weren't and she knew, they were gone from her life forever.

But, she woke up, hiding her disappointment and did her normal morning routine. She wasn't expecting anything special to be done, after all, she had no family to celebrate with and well, soldier's birthdays weren't seen as a big deal for the whole camp. Only the soldier close friends or family would cheer for them on their birthday or try to do something special over it, the whole camp wouldn't just stop in their steps to celebrate every single birthday for every single soldier. 

She already accepted that much and she was okay with it, she wasn't sure if she wanted to celebrate her birthday just yet either. 

The past three years, she lived in such a nightmare that she forgot the special treats in life or even felt anything but numbness. 

She was finally starting to feel again, she was able to speak once more and the old wounds on her ankle was nothing but old ugly looking scars. 

She was okay just being okay for her birthday, that was a gift she never thought she needed and yet, it was a blessing in her eyes. 

But still, she couldn't help the slight warmth in her gut as she was passed two letters, one was the shared letter of Eren and Armin who write on the same side just to wish her a happy birthday after hearing from Carla that it was today. The boys remembered and sent one extra letter just to wish her a happy birthday, she couldn't help but feel lucky to finally gain friends in her life. 

The second letter was from Carla, wishing her a happy birthday and sending a small handful of sweets as her birthday gift. Rather nice sweets, Mikasa had to admit that much and while they were only a few of them, she cherished them as much as a person can when eating one. Leaving most in the small paper bag that only held half a scoop full on the bedside table In Levi room knowing it be left untouched while she was out. 

Heading for breakfast after her patrol with Mike and morning jog with some of the soldiers. Waving as she passed both Hanji and Mike squads, noticing that Nanaba, Moblit and Gelgar was missing from the table the two squads normally sat around. 

Shaking away the strange sight before joining the officers table. Sitting beside Levi as always with Hanji on the other side of him since Levi's made it very clear that he won't ever eat when facing Hanji ever again. Erwin sitting opposite Hanji with Mike beside him, all sharing a greeting nod. 

Yeah, no big deal was needed for my birthday. 

This was just fine, I had people who cared for me in one way or another and just treated me as me. I didn't need a big deal, I just needed not to be alone, to be free to do as I wish instead of chained up and forced to live through hell again.