Following Him (Rivamika)

Chapter 19

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Side Note: Woke up past midnight meaning it's finally my birthday. I'm an another year older, feeling three times my age yet again lol..

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A Month Later...

She stayed silent, sitting under the tree she knew he escaped too.

She wasn't sure what he'd always escape from, she's never truly worked that bit out. 

Was he escaping from his past?

But he's never been one to speak over his past, she only learned over it by Hanji herself who wasn't shy to pass on such information about him.

Was he escaping from life itself?

But he's smart enough to know it will always find him in due time.

Was he escaping from people?

But he was a captain and he did never send her away when she would find him. 

Was he escaping from his title?

But he had learnt to live with it long before she came along. 

Was he just .. escaping?

Because she wouldn't mind escaping either. 

So, she'll just stay silent and sit on the opposite side of the tree to him. 

Taking in the view of the whole camp before her, wondering if so many knew they'd soon be dying next week. 

Closing her eyes as she took in the sounds around her but focusing mostly on each and every time he turned the page in his book. 

She enjoyed feeling the slight breeze brush up against her cheeks, her hair tucked into a pony tail as she came straight from the morning of training. 

She knew he knew over her displeasure on the upcoming expedition, it was too soon for the new cadets that joined in just three weeks. 

But she knew he wasn't as happy as she was but there was no talking Erwin and so, she'll behave and make sure the camp was still standing for when he returned. 

It was there home after all. 

Home, she finally felt safe saying the word.

But never out loud, she wouldn't let the world take this home away from her.

And, as long as she doesn't speak her mind out loud, life would never learn how important this place was slowly becoming for her. 

Opening her eyes as she dropped one of her hands to the side, feeling her folded scarf she took over once arriving. Her neck was hidden by the trunk of the tree behind her, her past, her pain and her nightmares couldn't be seen .. and she trusted him not to look.

She wondered how she could trust him, she knew better than to trust anyone and yet, she trusts him.

Sure, he helped her, saved her and gave her a way to live her own future without every asking for payment.

She was thankful.

That he was still able to see her human, as strong. 

Because, as she looks to her reflection she only see's a broken shell. 

Maybe he knew that, maybe he's always known how damaged she was but decided to live with a broken toy instead of wasting time on fixing a broken toy knowing it never be the same anyway. 

She was broken, but so was he in the end. 

She was just thankful that the first night she spent in her room, alone, that he never once spoke a work of weakness as she crawled into his bed.

She wasn't scared of being lonely, she was scared of waking up to find it all a dream this whole time. 

And, if it was a dream, she prayed to never wake from it. 

Maybe he felt the same, the fear of waking up only to be laying in the one place they never wanted to wake up again. 

Hiding from their monsters together, maybe that's what they were truly doing together. 

Because, monsters never came out when someone else was around and we would be able to fight each other's monster while standing froze against our own. 

Fair trade, he saves her soul and she saves his. 

Doesn't sound so bad to her and well, she was rather liked the new family she's gained.....