Dead and Gone

Home "Sweet" Home

The next two days went by the same as the others, dreadfully boring and extremely miserable. I think the worst part was that I couldn't even go to Michael's funeral.

I cried very often. The nurse suggested some anti-depressants but I refused. I tried my hardest to keep my mind off of Michael..

Speaking of Michael, he never did come back. I guess the other night was just a dream and I'm really losing my mind. I could barely sleep at night, just tossed and turned restlessly. My dreams were constantly filled with horrific images of that dreadful day. The ambulance sirens, the flashing red and blue lights, Michael's broken and bloody body next to mine.... 

"I really like you, Jade..."

"I always have..."

"Since we were little..."

"Always remember me..."

The hospital told me I could leave today. So my mom packed up what little belongings I had with me and we made our way back to the house. I was still a bit sore and had a few stitches and scars, but I'm okay...

Well, okay as in physically. Mentally, I was a mess.

It was very close to the end of summer. We go back to school on August the 23rd. Today is August 17th. I have about a week until I have to go back to school. I will be a junior.

But how can I possibly get through school without my best friend? I started crying again.

I stayed in bed all day, crying and sleeping. I was a wreck. My mom came home with a box of pizza. She got me to eat a slice.

I went back to my room after and just laid there, staring at the ceiling, trying to clear my head. It didn't work, of course. My mind was always overflowing with thoughts, and eighty percent of it had to do with Michael.

It was pretty late now and my mom was asleep. I was still laying there when I felt a presence, like someone was laying down next to me. I turned my head and Michael was laying there, a grin on his face. He looked the same as last time.

I didn't care if it was a dream or not, I was just glad he was here. I wrapped my arms around him. "Michael! I've missed you so much!" I had to keep my voice down though because I didn't want to wake up my mom.

"Hey," he said with a slight chuckle. "I've missed you, too." He held me close and kissed my forehead. 

We lay there for a while but I was just glad he was here. 

Then a terrible thought appeared in my head, school. "Michael, what am I supposed to do in school without you? How am I supposed to get through anything without you?" I sucked in a breath, trying to hold back tears, "I can't... I can't live without you. I just can't!" 

He frowned and held me closer. "Shhhh," he said, rubbing my back. "It's okay. It'll be okay. You'll be okay without me. You'll be fine, okay? You trust me, don't you?" I looked up into his eyes and nodded, silent. 

"But still, Michael. It's going to be so hard. I just miss you so much." I sniffed, letting the tears stream down my cheeks. "How do I even know you're really here? How do I know I'm not hallucinating and I'm losing my mind?" I was sobbing now.

"I am here. I'm just not.. physically alive..." He let out a sigh. "It's complicated. But I am here with you. And I always will be here. But I can only come out when you're alone, do you understand?" I sniffed again and nodded. "Just trust me, okay? You'll be fine, I promise you." 

"Okay, Michael." I said, starting to relax a bit. I buried my face in his neck. "I love you," I said, my voice muffled.

He smiled and kissed my cheek. "I love you, too," he said softly against my hair. 

Eventually I drifted off to sleep.