Dead and Gone

Gavin's Story

Gavin, of course, finds me after school and offers me a ride home. I felt a little weird, considering I just met him. I usually take the bus home but I was not in the mood to be around all those dumb high schoolers for another half hour. I agree to let him drive me and we get into his car.

He rolls up his sleeves, about to turn on the car when I see his wrists. I grab his arm and look at him but he refuses to meet my eyes.

"What's your story, Gavin?" I ask him, touching his arm softly, absently tracing the faded scars.

He watches me for a minute before letting out a sigh, "You got time?"

I nodded slowly, my eyes finally meeting his.

"Let's go to your house and I'll tell you?" he says. I nod again, starting to feel my cheeks grow warm. I'm inviting a guy who I've just met today into my home.

I tell him my address and we sit in the car, silent, the only sound was the rock music playing from the radio.

I unlock the front door and walk in, throwing my backpack on the floor next to the couch. Gavin follows awkwardly after me.

"Are your parents here?" he asks me.

"Nah, my mom's at work," I reply, heading to the kitchen and gesturing for him to follow.

"And your dad?" he asks hesitantly.

I sigh, "I have no idea who or where he is."

Gavin's face turns hard, "I'm sorry for asking."

"It's fine. You want something to drink?" I say, hoping to change the subject.

He nods. "What do you have?"

I open the fridge. "Water, of course, tea, some Coke..."

"A Coke, please." He says. Grabbing two cans of soda from the fridge, I hand him one.

He sits on the couch and I sit on a small sofa across from him. I take a sip from my Coke before setting it on the coffee table on front of me.

"Well," I say, "What's your story?"

He looks at me for a moment, studying me. "Tell me yours first."

I nod slowly, taking a moment to think.

"My dad left and so I don't know him or even know what he looks like. My mom had to raise me on her own. When I started kindergarten, she decided she needed to go to work. So she would always be gone. She called her younger sister to take care of me and she and her boyfriend moved in. Her name was Tara and his name was Nathan. Tara was basically like my mom and Nathan was my dad, I loved them so much.. She was always there for me.

When I was 11, Tara was diagnosed with cancer and she died later that year. After that, I was basically on my own. My mother turned to alcohol for her problems. She would always be out drinking. Sometimes she would leave for days, too ashamed to come back home. Nathan had stayed for a year or two, but he left for college later on. He still visits though. My mom was hardly ever there for me but she started getting better eventually, got a job and whatnot..." I looked over at Gavin to see if he was still listening, which he was. His expression was hard to read, though. He nodded slowly, digesting this information, silent.

"Well, I guess it's my turn to tell my story, huh?" He said finally. He sighed and looked down at the floor.

"My little sister and I were pretty close. Well, about as close as a brother and sister can be. She was two years younger than me. She knew that she could come to me with any of her problems... she knew she could talk to me... She knew that and still, she told me nothing.." His voice trembled slightly but he continued.

"Well, she was being bullied. The kids were constantly picking on her. And she went into depression. But she always gave me an excuse. 'Why is there a bruise on your arm?' I'd ask and she would say 'I got hit with the ball in P.E.' Turns out they punched her. 'Why are your eyes red?' 'Because I fell asleep in class.' Actually, it was because they teased her and she locked herself in the bathroom at school and cried for a whole class period. She hated her life. She was going through one of the hardest things a teenager could go through and still, she never told me!" His voice was rising, getting louder with each sentence. "My sister took her own life, because of some STUPID BULLIES." He was yelling now, clenching his fists.

I sat there in silence. I didn't know what to say but "I'm sorry."

After a couple minutes of silence, when he had calmed down, he said, "I walked home and found her limp body hanging from the ceiling... I just feel like if I had payed more attention, if I had talked to her more, maybe she would still be alive today... I feel like it's my fault. It was my job to protect her as her big brother and I failed. She died all because of me." His voice cracked and he bit his lip as if to keep from crying.

I scooted closer to him on the couch and took his hand in mine. "It's not your fault," I said softly, looking him in the eyes. "She didn't tell you because she didn't want you to know. There was nothing you could do about that, Gavin."

He sniffed, tears forming in his eyes now. "After that, my dad ended up having affair with another woman and my parents got a divorce. My mother went into depression and so did I. I self-harmed, I starved myself, I cut myself, anything that hurt me. But I didn't kill myself, as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't leave my mom alone. So I faked a smile around her. I took care of her but all the while I was falling apart. One day, my mom found my blade. She had a mental breakdown and they had to take her to a hospital for therapy for a while. And once again, it was all my fault. They told her that she wasn't mentally capable of caring for a child so I had to move in with my aunt and uncle. My mom doesn't do much anymore. She lives with her provider. It was really hard to leave her but they made me. I live with Casey now. He's my cousin."

He stopped there and refused to meet my eyes, looking down at my hand in his instead.

I was speechless at his story, unsure what to say.

"You went through so much and yet you seem so strong...How do you do it?" I asked.

"Well, Casey's mom is actually a psychiatrist so she helped me a lot. But other than that, I think I just realized that my depression was not only ruining my own life, but also my mom's. I wasn't getting anywhere. I knew I had to just stay strong and fight through it. I decided I had to live on, for my sister, Daniella."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. "You have to be strong, too, Jade. For Michael. You have to keep living on. For him. For me. For you. Don't let the depression consume you."

And I cried. Right there in Gavin's arms.

And I'm pretty sure he was crying, too.

But you know what? It felt great.

~Sorry I hadn't updated in so long. Was busy with projects. But it's a decent sized chapter and it finally tells you their background! I did start on another story though. It's called The Mysterious Case of Scarlet so you should go read that one, too :)