His Desire- ᴇʀᴇɴ ᴊᴀᴇɢᴇʀ

Chapter 5

here's a lengthy chapter for you whores <3

Last night was a blur for you, and all you remember is alcohol... a lot of alcohol. After your little rendezvous with Jean, you continued to party; you even went upstairs to the main party and had a good time. You all ended up staying the night because you were all too drunk to drive home on your own. You slept in Mikasa's room while jean slept in Armin's room.

You and Jean never discussed what happened between the two of you. The mere thought of the kiss you two shared sends butterflies racing through your body. You were feeling things... things you shouldn't be feeling, you guys are just friends. You couldn't possibly be romantically involved with him. That would be far too strange, You two have been friends for a long time; yes, you two flirt, but it's always been playful flirting, nothing serious. And, besides, if the two of you got together, it would be awkward in your friend group, especially if you broke up.

You have no idea why you're even thinking about this; it's not even like you like Jean like that...right? After the kiss, the two of you simply returned to the party and pretended as nothing had happened. For some reason, the two of you had a habit of doing that... kissing and acting as if nothing had happened. When you guys returned, everyone poked fun at the two of you, but Jean and you didn't talk about it. You're not sure if it was because he was too shy to talk about it or because it meant nothing to him. However, it certainly didn't feel like it was nothing...

Perhaps you're just overthinking... It was nothing more than a harmless kiss between two friends... a dare. You're probably just feeling this way because you haven't kissed anyone in a long time. You were simply incredibly touched-starved. That's why you can't get your mind off what happened... His large hands caressing your body, his tender kisses on your neck, the way your body pressed together... god you can't stop thinking about it. You kept thinking about it all last night. He was even in your dreams which left you even more confused about your feelings when you woke up. You two definitely needed to talk, but you definitely weren't going to be the one to initiate the conversation.

You've never been through anything like this before, so you're not sure how to deal with how you're feeling. You didn't spend much time with men. You've had crushes on a few guys and dated a few who aren't worth mentioning. You weren't a virgin, but you were inexperienced when it came to... men. You didn't want to count your first time as losing your virginity because it lasted less than 10 minutes and left you unsatisfied. You have yet to find a man who can satisfy you in the way you want to be satisfied. You've read a few stories in which the woman has the most pleasure she's ever felt, but it seems impossible to you. Well, not impossible but just unimaginable.

You were always convinced that there was something wrong with you. Was it just you who wasn't able to experience what so many other women seemed to? Or was it just smut's writing that exaggerated the sensation of true orgasm? Or perhaps it was the men you were with who didn't know how to truly please you.

Jean, on the other hand, made you feel pretty damn good without even touching your intimate parts. So perhaps you were just messing with the wrong people. You want to gain more experience with guys, especially now that you're in college. You feel like a deer in a lion's den. Everyone around you is so experienced and knows what they're doing and you just... don't. You feel that you are a virgin, despite the fact that you are not. You kind of wish you'd met someone to hook up with at the party...other than jean. Even if you were halfway there with Jean, sleeping with him would not have been the best choice. Look how awkward things are between the two of you already, and all you did was a kiss.

The entire night was just a mess. Eren didn't even so much as look at you or speak to you the entire rest of the night. Jen was tied to his hip and was all over him. To be honest, he didn't even appear to like her. Whenever she spoke to him, he seemed uninterested. You also noticed that when he introduced her he introduced her as a friend. Not as a girlfriend. Which for a reason you do not know... made you a little happy.