↺ 012 : selfless selfishness & department store surprises

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IT WAS A TOTAL BOSS move for Dr

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IT WAS A TOTAL BOSS move for Dr. Chan to assign us a partnered project over spring break. Granted, we still had a week, and the report wasn't due until mid May, but it didn't change the fact that two people were meant to work on it, together, and that it would take a while to actually come up with a topic, or that one or both members could get into a nasty accident over the break.

Talia had the flu and couldn't "mingle" with healthy people, so I'd offered to bring her some soup or whatever. She declined at first, but then I was like, "You think I care if I get sick?" and she sighed, asking if I could get my hands on saltless crackers, too.

Apparently, her roommate was an Ass-with a capital A-and was consequently of no help. I guess that's where I came in. I'd say that was where Colin came in, too.

Me: Colin, hi. This is probably weird as hell, but I'm heading into town and I thought that maybe, if you're free later, we could hang out? Talk about stuff?

Me: I'll make sure to bring you egg rolls

He replied so much sooner than I'd expected, and I had the faintest of thoughts that maybe he'd been waiting on me all that time. God, I did not deserve kindness.

Colin: Lenny?
Colin: Is this some kind of joke?

Me: No? What're you talking about?

Colin: Seriously? You're the one playing this whole back-and-forth game with me. Don't you see how messed up that is?

Me: I'm sorry, I didn't realize it came across...

Me: I didn't realize it seemed that way. I wasn't trying to hurt you or anything, I just, I guess I misunderstood?

But I was, wasn't I? I'd had an inkling that one of us was going to get hurt, and that "one of us" was not going to be me. Thing is, I didn't think it'd be so soon. I was trying to put it off until later-which I now realize was a stupid idea, for different reasons-but later did not seem to understand the meaning of later.

Me: Is it okay if I call?

It took him eighteen minutes-the same amount of time it took me to reach the bus terminal-to text back. I deserved it. I deserved more than a measly eighteen minute wait, but something told me Colin wanted this over, done with, and far behind us as soon as possible. Who was I to complain?

Colin: Don't bother.

Ouch, but deserved. That was more like it. I was beginning to wonder when my apparent selfishness would catch up with me, and while it might not have been in full force, I was so happy he wasn't going to let me off the hook so easily, and rightfully so. I'd given him every reason to be upset; possibly even enough reason to hate my guts.

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