Right Where You Left Me | Grayson Dolan

3

Grayson
Late February

I didn't know if my mind was just playing tricks on me, but I woke up with a weird feeling today.

As if there was something I was missing. It was Friday and I didn't have any classes, so I knew that wasn't it.

My mom was making coffee in the kitchen when I went downstairs, so I decided to ask her.

"Mom, is it anyone's birthday today?"

"Not that I know of, sweetie. How come?"

"I don't know. I just feel like I'm missing something today. Like it's a birthday, or there's an event I'm supposed to be at or something. I just feel like it's on the tip of my tongue and I have no clue what it is."

"Did you ask Ethan? Maybe he knows."

"He's still asleep," I said. "But I'll ask him later."

"Want some coffee?"

"Sure. Thanks, Mom."

Pouring me a cup of coffee, she put cream and sugar in it just the way I'be always liked it.

"Here you go, sweetie," she said, putting the mug in front of me.

"Thank you," I told her before taking a sip of the hot caffeine.

"So, what are you planning on doing today?"

"Probably going to the gym with Ethan if he wants to go. Other than that, I'll probably just stay home."

"I'm thinking about going to go pick up some doughnuts this morning. Wanna go with me?"

"Sure, Mom. I'm gonna get dressed real fast, and then we can go."

"Perfect."

-

"Ethan, do you know of anyone who has a birthday or something today?"

"No. Why?" he asked before shoving half of a doughnut into his mouth.

"I just feel like there's something I'm missing."

Ethan shrugged. "Beats me."

"We didn't have any meetings about football today, right?"

"Nothing until March," he said.

I nodded. "I guess my mind is just playing tricks on me."

-

Brooklyn
The Same Day

I always felt like this day would be so chaotic, but everything went very smoothly.

My daughter was born at 2:47 in the afternoon, on this day of February 27th.

And she was perfect. Besides crying during the moment she came into the world, she was perfectly calm. She snuggled right up to my skin the first time the doctors laid her on my chest, and as soon as she was measured and cleaned up, I was able to feed her.

I had decided on a name two weeks ago, and I absolutely loved it for her.

Ivy Grace Dolan.

Of course I was still going to give her Grayson's last name. Why the hell wouldn't I?

God, I couldn't believe I had a child, and I couldn't believe how perfect for me she was. I felt so lucky to be her mama, and I couldn't wait to watch her grow up into an amazing young woman someday.

She was perfectly healthy, and at an average weight of five pounds, seven ounces. She measured eighteen and a half inches tall.

I got to take her home to our apartment the very next day, and I was right. She did make me feel less lonely.

All of the baby snuggles, and the love radiating through my heart for her made my loneliness fade to a certain extent.

I still missed Grayson, and it sucked that we couldn't be with him for now, but I still pray every night that he'll get to meet Ivy someday.

She's the perfect mix of us. My hazel eyes and freckles, his face shape and curly dark hair.

Ivy even made some of Grayson's facial expressions in her sleep. It was too cute.

Your whole worldview changes when you become a parent. Everything else in the world is second to your baby, and your baby is the one thing you care most about.

I thought it would take me a while to adapt to life as a new mother, but I adapted almost instantly. The second your baby is born, everything changes. Everything you thought you knew goes out the window, and all that matters is that you have a healthy baby.

Ivy was a very laid back baby. She would only cry if she needed something, or else she would only ever make little cooing noises, showing that she felt happy and safe.

Having my own child made me resent my father even more for everything that he put me through. I love Ivy more than anyone or anything, and I can't imagine how a parent could be that cruel to their own child.

I cried just thinking about how sad it would be if something bad happened to Ivy. I'll always do everything I can to protect her. Forever.

She's my baby girl.

She's the mini piece of Grayson that I have left.

Watching her grow was simply one of the biggest blessings I've ever received. I felt so blessed to be raising my daughter in a safe place, where my father couldn't get to us.

Sure, it was difficult in my mind to keep this all from Grayson, but I had a feeling I'd see him again eventually.

Someday Ivy will get to meet him. I pray about it every single day.

Ivy radiated so much of Grayson's personality. She was so full of love and positivity.

I know we'll be alright for now. We're in a safe place with our own nice apartment, and I'm making enough money to provide for the both of us. Sure, I really miss Grayson at times, but I'm holding onto hope that we'll meet again somewhere.

Patience is a virtue, and time heals everything.

And it's not like I'm expecting him to wait forever for me to come back. I want him to get himself out there and find someone who can truly give him the relationship that he deserves.

Either way, I'd know he'd drop everything to be in Ivy's life if he knew about her. As long as they develop a father-daughter bond when he eventually meets her, I'll be alright.

Even if I can never be with him again.