Right Where You Left Me | Grayson Dolan

2

Grayson

I had all of my homework done, and I didn't have anything to do that evening, so I was laying on my bed and throwing an old nerf football into the air, and catching it as it came back down.

Other than being sad about missing Brooklyn, I found myself also getting bored without having her to talk to. She really was my best friend, and I still can barely fathom the fact that she left me on purpose.

Ethan knocked on my bedroom door, so I told him he could come in. He walked in, shutting the door behind him before he went to sit in my desk chair.

"Bored again?"

"Yeah," I said. "What are you up to tonight?"

"Kylie and I were gonna go to the gym if you wanna join us."

"I think I'm gonna stay in tonight. It's been a long day. I just finished my essay a little while ago."

"Oh. That's good. How'd it go?"

"I feel pretty good about it. I've always been good with essays though."

"True," Ethan said. "Anyway, we're gonna have a movie night when we get back, and you're welcome to join us."

I nodded. "I probably will. Just let me know when you get home," I said.

Ethan gave me a sad smile. "Things are gonna get better," he said. "I promise."

"Thanks, E," I said. "You're a good brother."

"Hey, I'm here for you. Me and Kylie both. I know you're having a hard time because football's over and it gives you more time to think about Brooklyn, but it'll pass. At least eventually you won't be sad every time you think about her anymore."

I nodded. "Either way I don't think I'll ever stop missing her."

"I know. I miss her too."

"I just hope that wherever she is, she's doing okay."

"Me too," Ethan said. "Even if we won't ever find out, I hope she's in a safer place."

"Me too. I pray about it all the time."

Ethan nodded. "I'm glad you've still been praying. It's good to keep your faith in times like these."

"It's part of what's keeping me going. I wanted to make dad proud this semester, and it resulted in me making the Dean's List."

Ethan smiled. "I'm really proud of you, Gray. I know for a fact Dad's smiling down on us right now. He's so proud to be your father. You put so much good into the world. You're not only making him proud everyday, but also me, and Mom, and everyone who knows you. You're a great guy, and you have a very resilient head on your shoulders. Try to focus on the positives, and you'll be able to keep your head up easier. If you can't, I'll be here to help you along the way."

Standing up, I pulled my twin into a hug. "Dad's so proud of you too, man. You're such a good brother. I don't know what I'd do without you, E."

"I don't know either," Ethan said, hugging me back. "Love you, man."

"Love you too, man. Now go work hard at the gym and bring me back a milkshake."

Ethan laughed as we pulled away from our hug.

"Chocolate or vanilla?"

"Chocolate. Duh," I said.

Ethan gave me a thumbs up as he started walking out of my room. "You got it, Gray."

My mom had ordered pizza for dinner, so I sat with her while the two of us ate. If there's one thing I'm thankful for, it's my mother's kindness. She's been one of my biggest support systems since day one, and she's helped me get through these past few months.

My mom had kind of a rough childhood, but not as rough as Brooklyn's. She still understands some of the stuff Brooklyn has been through, which has helped me understand a little bit too. I think that's why my mother was so quick to help Brooklyn out when she was living in her car last year.

I have an amazing support system. Ethan is my absolute best friend, and he's been there for me non-stop since Brooklyn skipped town.

Kylie has been there a lot for me too. She's like a sister to me because she's been dating Ethan for so long now. They just hit three years this summer.

She was really upset when Brooklyn left too. Kylie felt like she was finally starting to get to know Brooklyn more, and then she was just gone.

Ethan was a mix of angry and sad. He was angry because he didn't understand how someone could do something like that to me, and he was sad because he knew how devastated I was feeling. Because he's my twin, he has the natural ability to sense my emotions, and how I'm feeling. It honestly helps sometimes because he knows how to make me feel better, or how to calm me down if I'm super upset.

There were some days that were better than others. I found it easier to get through a busy day than a day with nothing on my schedule. Ethan picked up on that really quickly, and he's  pretty good at getting me to get out of the house.

There's days where Brooklyn crosses my mind only a little, and there's days when I can't stop thinking about her.

Sometimes when I fall asleep, I dream about what it would be like if Brooklyn was still living here. Then I wake up and realize that she's not laying next to me, and it hurts so bad to think about.

I really really hope that she's okay out there.

Ethan and I are turning nineteen soon, and my birthday wish is asking nothing short of a miracle.

I just want my girl back.

Every night before I fall asleep, I pray that Brooklyn is finding peace in her life wherever she ended up going. I pray that she's happier, and that we can cross paths again someday.

I'm still holding on to one of the phrases she told me a little while before she left.

I never want you to forget that I love you.

I hope she never forgets that I love her too.