Just a Movie

Captured

I stare at him, surprised by his confession.  He has feelings for me?  Roy Benning, the guy who's nature is to flirt with every pretty girl he sees?  Roy Benning, the guy who never commits to serious relationships?  Roy has not once fallen for any woman, yet here I am in his arms as he holds me tight.  I open my mouth to say something, but what do I even say?  

"You called me Martha," I blurt.

His expression fades into discouragement, his eyes losing that contentment that filled them not too long ago.  His grip loosens, his hands falling to my hips loosely, and he gives me a small smile. 

"Yeah, I did."

He sighs, backing away, and he heads to the pile of sticks and begins rubbing two, making a little fire that barely lights up our space.  I meander over, sitting across from him.  I look at him, but he doesn't look at me, his eyes focused on the flame in between us.  Should I have said something different?  I admit, perhaps that wasn't the best reply in the world when one tells you how they feel, but he did catch me off guard.  I wasn't expecting him to say that.  Or ever really.  I know my feelings have grown for him.  Maybe I should've told him that instead of mentioning he called me by my name.  He's always called me Betty.  Why?  I'll never know, but I do know it doesn't bother me as much, and I've gotten quite used to it.  Ok, maybe I like it a little.  But it was different when he said my name, like he wanted my full attention, like he cared for me.  Like he loved me.  I put my head in between my knees, letting out a breath.  Oh God, I hope I didn't ruin anything.  In any case, it is just a movie.  Maybe it doesn't matter, since this won't last anyway.  

After a long, drawn out silence, the storm finally subsides, and we head back out.  I've been trying to figure out what to say, but I just don't know what.  How do you come back from something like that?  Man, if this keeps up, it's gonna be a long walk.  Oh, come on Martha, say something, anything.  Just open your mouth!  Is that so hard?  Just do it!

"Hot weather, right?" I say, and I wince at my own words. 

Seriously?  Of all things, you had to mention the weather?  Real smooth Martha.  Real smooth. 

"Yeah, hot," he replies.  A smirk begins to form.  "Can't be much hotter than you."

Oh great!  He's back to his old self.  The guy I'm all too familiar with.  You know, it's kind of funny.  When we were alone in the cave, he seemed more...open.  But now, and even when we first met, he seems distant.  He's never really let anyone in but Chris, and everyone else is kept outside the fence.  We continue to walk on, not much words exchanged between us, except for how far we are from where we're supposed to meet up with everyone else and a question if either of us were alright, to which the answer was "yeah" and "I'm fine".  I don't think either of us were being honest with each other about what was swimming in our minds or weighing on our hearts. 

Hot, sweaty, and...well, sweaty, we finally made it to our destination.  I swear, my clothes have never been so soaked in my life.  Not even the craziest, hardest exercises could make me sweat this much.  I feel like I'd jumped into a pool, only, when I came out, I could taste salt.  We enter the town that has but a few buildings, including a hotel, and the only recreation is one bar with a mini gambling casino.  I should know, since I watched Violet place multiple bets during my many movie sprees.  The hotel-which is really a motel, considering its size-is located at the far end of town, and we slowly but surely make our way there.  We go inside, and I expect to find a clerk in a tight bowtie and two women dressed in tiny revealing red dresses with black tights selling cigars and cigarettes.  But it's empty.  I can literally hear the flies buzzing about, one of which decides to land on Roy's head, but before it can clean its hands, he shoos it away.  Why is no one here?  I rub my forehead, wiping the sweat from my brow.  It's another change of plot.  But what happens now?  I turn to Roy, breaking the long overdue silence between us.