10) Enough

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by indigoadam

by indigoadam

"You said that she didn't mean anything. You said that you would never hurt me."

You said that I was the only one.

Adam couldn't look at me, face in his hands, elbows on his knees. He was seated on his mother's foot stool, two meters away from me, shoulders trembling. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he kept saying, the sound muffled against his palms.

"Why Adam?" I was hissing, tears streaming down my face.

"Why her?"

He did nothing. He sat there, shoulders trembling, face hidden. His apologies were an endless tirade until the words echoed around and around in my head. I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry...

"I loved you!" I screamed at him now. My heart was breaking, had broken, shattering in my chest and all he could say was that? It felt as if nothing else in this world was going to be okay again. We had plans. We were going to get married. He had promised.

"I love you, I love you, I love you..." Adam said now, hands pulling away from his face finally. His blue eyes were filled with tears when he looked up at me. Blue eyes that I had, for so long, fallen head over heels in love with every single time I looked into them. Now, all I felt was... pain.

Adam stood, moved towards me, his arms reaching out. For every step he took forward, I took two back. It was only until I felt the cold wall behind me that I stopped. His hands held my arms, then moved to my face, thumbs stroking the tears from my cheeks.

"I love you, I love you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

I shook my head and pushed him away.

"I can't...."

He tried again, "I'm sorry, please, don't do this. I was wrong, so wrong. I love you."

But I couldn't. He had promised me. He had promised me that he would stop seeing other women, that I was different, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and only me. My chest hurt so bad that I feared my heart was physically breaking inside me.

"I can't..."I told him again, pushing away at hands that were reaching out. "It's over."

Adam's hands dropped to his sides. His mouth was agape. I think he didn't believe that I could have possibly said that. To be honest, I didn't believe that the words came from me either.

"You don't mean that." He stated, like it was fact. A large part of me wanted to listen to him. A large part of me wanted to run into his arms and say that yes, I didn't mean it, and that yes, that was fine, I loved him anyway and that we could work through this, his dalliances, his affairs, his hook-ups. We could work through it all.

But he promised...

"Tracy..." he tried again, "Let's not make rash decisions. Let's talk about this. The wedding is a month away."

I shook my head, harder this time. The pain in my chest multiplied. It was the only thing that kept me from running back to him. "It's o-over. There will be no wedding. I'm done."

Adam gaped but at the words, my hands had stopped shaking.

"I'm not going to marry you. I'm done."

And I turned, and walked out of that room with the tears streaming down my face still.

A/N It used to be so easy for me to write one-shots and drabbles, emotion packed and heady. But I can't seem to anymore. I think all the years I've spent since I last posted writing business paper, upon research paper, upon assessments have taken its toll. I am no longer able to write for fun anymore. But anyway, yes this A/N was not supposed to be this dark. It was supposed to be funny. I leave you with a joke then.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

...

A palm tree :)