Bokuakakuroken Oneshots

Enough (angst)

    A/N: I promise they will not all be angst, I have just been in a mood. Hope you enjoy though!

    T/W: Panic attack, paranoia, ptsd, abuse

    "I can't do this anymore! It feels like you're not even trying!" the boy said a harsh slapping sound erupting through the empty apartment.

    "No, I really am trying, I promise! I-I started therapy and l-look I am here! I won't talk about it again. I thought you were offering an open ear!" Akaashi said with desperation in his voice, holding his now red cheek. Yet he did not move to gesture, only sitting in front of his 'lover', staring at the ground.

    "God you know what that's it, how could anyone handle you and your so called 'panic attacks" he mocked as he towered over Akaashi.

"No one could ever love you, everyone will leave you and there is nothing you can do about it. Now, don't ever contact me again." He walked away cursing into the black abyss.

    Wait, don't go, why can't I talk! Please, I can be better!

    The boy, his 'lover', faded into the distance as Akaashi struggled to find his voice. He collapsed to the ground, numb fingers grasping at his shirt, at anything to ground him. Silence surrounded the fragile boy as the room seemed to only get smaller.

                                                                                                                                                          Please, make it stop!!!

"Keiji, doll! It's ok, you're okay"

                                                                                            Who is that? Rough hands brushed over wet cheeks.

"Keiji, we are home in bed. Bokuto is behind you, Kuroo is behind me and I'-"

                                 No no no I can't, they're lying, everyone leaves me, I feel like I am dying help me!

    In fear, Akaashi began to thrash around to release himself from the grasp of the unknown people holding him. Bokuto desperately wrapped his arms around Akaashi whispering soothing words into his ears, his arms getting scratched by the fearful boy. Akaashi sobbed begging for them to stop.

    "PLEASE LET ME- ME GO!!! NO STOP I'M SORRY DON'T HURT ME, DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" At this point all four of them were crying. Kuroo tried his best to not shed tears but as he brushed Akaashi's hair from his face, trying to calm him down he couldn't help it. The boys hurt seeing him like this knowing they, themselves, would never leave him. However, they knew very well that just words couldn't console Akaashi so they always did their best to show him.

    "Akaashi, it's o-ok we are a-all here. See, this is my hand, small and fragile, soft not callous" Kenma stuttered, placing his hand slowly in Akaashi's. Akaashi's movements slowed to a stop and his glazed eyes seemed to focus back.

    "You hear my voice, yeah? It's mellow and smooth as you describe it." Kenma cautiously started to ground him. Akaashi felt his anxieties come down to a plateau, attempting to comprehend the space around him.

    "Here, look, we aren't going anywhere. I am going to need you to take some deep breaths ok? With me now" Bokuto took a deep, exaggerated breath so as for Akaashi to feel his chest rise and fall on his back as he shakily followed along. Sometime while Akaashi was trying to calm down Kuroo had wrapped Akaashi and Bokuto in his big blanket and hugged them.

    The boys knew about his panic attacks and PTSD and were always prepared for episodes but for the past few nights they kept getting more consistent. That was a big red flag for them seeing as his panic attacks and nightmares only got worse with the more he tried to conceal things that bother him. Kenma, Kuroo and Bokuto were on the same page, determined to help their lover. On the other hand Akaashi's guilt grew with how 'bothersome' his episodes were becoming for his loved ones.