Leaving Someone Behind

"Bye," the word was barely audible. We hugged. Tears rolled down, one by one. I tried to stop them, but it was impossible as more and more started to fall. One ended up in my mouth. It was salty, but I did nothing to get rid of the unpleasant taste. By now I no longer fought against them. They were undefeatable, an invisible enemy that you can't fight since it is you, your emotions. In the distance, my name was called. The hug was over, our last hug until next year.

My name was called for the second time, though this time louder. I looked at him for the last time. I was afraid to forget this moment. I was afraid to go. I was afraid to leave him.

"See you at Christmas," he said trying to sound enthusiastic, but his voice betrayed him.

I knew he didn't want our last thoughts of each other to be sad, and so, as we looked at each other, tears shining all over our faces, we both laughed.

"Bye..."

I walked out of the room, down the stairs, and found myself trying to imagine daily life without him. It was so hard to picture; it was missing a piece. Once in bed, my emotions quickly engulfed me into sleep.

"Beep, beeeep..." the strident sound of the alarmclock woke me up.

I couldn't see anything. It was too early for a few rays of sunshine to sneak in between the curtains. Arriving in the kitchen, I tried to force myself to eat. But since I could barely stomach my emotions, food was even harder. It was time to go. The sun still unseen allowed the fog to dominate the view. I glanced at the forest, it too was drapped in the thick fog blanket. Only a few pines surpassed with birds flying from branch to branch. It was beautiful. As the car slowly departed, I stuck my red nose on the window, and fog soon appeared on it.

* * *

Once home, the emptiness hit me. I couldn't believe it; he wasn't here anymore. I walked around, looked at his empty bed, his empty desk; everything was gone. I remember when we first moved in, and we fought over this room, or the time we had repainted his walls. All the fights, all the conversations, all the secrets, all of that wouldn't happen again. Tears, again these tears, started to fill my eyes before rolling down my cheek, eventually hitting the floor. Those were memories. Memories rolling down before eventually being forgotten.

I suddenly felt a rush of anger. Why did he leave? Couldn't he had stayed?  I missed him so much, but I knew that he was gone. I could do nothing. You can't fight change, only accept it.

That day, I accepted my brother's absence; he no longer lived with us. That day, I found my missing piece, our memories.

That day, I opened with acceptance a new chapter of life.