To: Soo-Won; From: Yona

To Soo-Won, my Anti-Hero

You saw their suffering in which I had never even caught a glimpse of. You, who robbed me of my family, my home, and my ignorance, unveiled the farce of the only truth I knew of. It was you that caused us to flee. You, that I loved so dearly, now threatened our lives. I became a survivor to protect those I love.

My eyes were forced open, and my heart hardened by what they saw. The blurry world outside the castle walls became strikingly clear. I now see what you see, and I feel my heart breaking for my people. You felt this too, didn't you? This guilt for the luxurious life we were born into, and the helplessness of being capable of changing only a little.

You are the reason I have witnessed the darkness of this world. Why the shadow lurking over Kouka Kingdom haunts my awareness. You are apart of the fear constantly tugging deep inside me. 

The infatuation of sixteen year old, Princess Yona, has vanished, and your princely facade is transparent to me. The man I see before me will do whatever it takes to make Kouka as great as it once was, ready to cut down anyone, even my father. Should I feel hate for such cruelty, or respect for such devotion to our Kouka Kingdom?

My greatest sadness is knowing that my father's beliefs against violence and war are the very reason this country is suffering. My heart aches at the the thought of our people's suffering.  It angers me that this is the path you chose. I know now that I must fight to become even stronger, and protect Kouka Kingdom, but I can't help wishing there had been some other way. Am I so foolish to wish for no more death as we bring life to Kouka once more? 

You are the stone that has shattered my heart. You are the breeze that stokes the flames of my determination. You, Soo-Won, King of Kouka, are the reason I have been hunted, beaten, and lost. I walk with the weight of loss, guilt, and regret burdening my shoulders. The true meaning of pain, hunger, and fear is no longer foreign to me. Not only have I been forced to bear witness to these things far too many times to count, but I have lived through them in manner just the same. Do not pity me. I would not expect, nor accept such sentiments from one who is the catalyst of each decision I make.

I have killed, Soo-Won. My innocence is stained crimson with the blood drawn by each arrow. I am consumed by the inferno of a warrior, and I can feel the lion clawing inside of me with every draw of my bow.

However, I decided long ago to bear these burdens. Before the memories of suffering I will call upon those of happiness, joy, fellowship, and love. Above all else, I will remember the unbreakable bonds I have forged, and treasure the souls of every life, even those that have passed. When doubt, fear, and anguish cools my very core I am sure to be encompassed in a blanket of warmth. The warmth I am blessed with by my new family. Those closest to me, that are always there to lift me up, and be my firm foundation in the midst of every storm. I will hold onto this warmth, this love, with all that I am; for it is surely to shape all that I am to become.

I would not have found this: my precious friends, my new strength and wisdom, without you, Soo-Won. Do you have something like this? Beyond Kouka and it's people, do you have someone to fight for, to protect? Someone that gives you the warmth I speak of? I cannot find it within me to hate you, and I would hope that even you too, would be able to feel this one thing. 

We both have something to do before we can allow ourselves to die, but more than anything I wish for both of us to have something, or someone to live for afterwards.

No, I do not hate you, Soo-Won, nor have I forgiven you. I do not understand why I feel this way. The one thing I do understand is why you have become King Soo-Won, and that I am no longer Princess Yona. 

I am only Yona. Yona of the Dawn.