The Huge Reveal

Smiles Turns To Worries

As Raj continuous her life and today let's just say she was really excited for the day. As I open my eyes, stretch my arm and kiss my teddy bear I hop up out of the bed with a big smile. As I begin to dance around my room I looked in a mirror feeling happy and glowing, today was the day I get to go see Alex. I walked to the kitchen so that I can fix me some breakfast to eat and then go to work. I try not to fix much just something small but I also had to hurry up. As I prepare myself for work I make sure I take my backpack for the weekend that I'm about spend with Alex.

Throughout the day of my normal working hours, I suddenly remember some bad things about my past. When I was 18 years old I lost my virginity to a younger guy which sounds stupid but he was very trustworthy. Even thought he was younger then me, he acted very much mature then some guys. I told myself I would wait until I graduate which I did thank god. But after it was just brutally and unfocused. When I was younger I always thought guys didn't like me at all cause I never had a boyfriend. Only reason why was mostly because of my father. My father was type that I wouldn't want to show my boyfriend to because I'll get scared as hell. Back then I had a few guys as friends mostly we're flings for the fun of it. I knew the risk but, it seems to me that my body and head has a mind of its own.
I was the type to have a boyfriend then be with them maybe a 2weeks then they stop texting me. And here's why, boys look at me and think about one thing but then say another. Most guys look at me and pretty much think of sex but, me not knowing and being very young for my age I didn't know and things went for the worst.

I never did learn my lesson until one day. I always thought boys looked at me as an easy target. As you can see it seems to be that way, but it was just one guy one person that I knew who never treated me that way. Most guys don't think with their heads they think with their dicks and clearly deep inside most of them they are dicks. My past has taught me so much that I need to learn ahead of time and also the things that I shouldn't do. Just hear me out sex is not always the answer but the guys it seems to be just a of fun with it and seeing how many girls they can smash. I get so caught up about how a boy looks that I will do anything but behind those looks is just atrophy.