Sweet and Sour

eleven

New Orleans CA to Las Vegas NV
United States
May 7

..

I pack my bags and do the same routine.

Get a lift to the venue and preform

I've been emotional since last night

I'm embarrassed that I was seen at that state that wasn't me.

The concert ends and I get off the stage

As soon as I get on the bus, I head to the bathroom

That's the only room with a window

I light a cigarette and softly cry

I'm so upset at gabe.

He just went out and about when I asked him not to

He didn't even try to help, he was just disappointed.

I dont even want to look at his face

I pull my phone out and start writing a song

I'm just writing different emotions that I'm feeling

I'm feeling jealousy because I just want to be normal, I'm feeling hurt and like I wanted to be hugged, I'm feeling like I'm not allowed to express my true feelings because if I do, the media's going to make it a big deal

I'm in the restroom for a while and I come out finally

I just go and rest on one of the beds and just stare until I fall asleep

We arrive and I go to my room

I go to the balcony and smoke a cigarette

I look down to the city and everything looks so small

I'm reality, they're huge things, but you just can't see until you're near it

But you don't know that until you're there

The world is so blurry.

The cigarette dies out and I head back inside

I go to the shower and hop inside

Usually I like my showers hot, but I felt like having cold shower today

Having a cold shower feels so good

You ignore the coldness and focus more on feeling awake and energized

Anyways, I finish showering and get out

I brush my hair and brush my teeth

I do other hygiene and get dressed before going to bed

I sleep for 3 hours before waking up

I struggle with sleeping problems, so this happens a lot

Usually I just watch tv, but I'm in the writing mood

I open a studio app on my phone and create some beats

I create this one beat that I really like, so I save it.

I look back at my notes and see the word jealously

I take that word and write

I feel the tiredness kick back in and decide to rest again.