Life of Illusion- Rick Grimes x reader

What lies behind

Lori was right, Carl did snore.

The entire night I kept tossing and turning, making it so I barely got any sleep.

By the time the sun came out, I was already up making breakfast for everyone, that way we would have a headstart on looking for Sophia.

I guess everyone smelled the spam cooking, because soon enough everyone came out of their tents, grabbing plates and filling them with spam and powdered eggs.

"This is lovely," Dale says to me while taking a seat, "thank you."

"Of course."

After yet another silent meal, people were packing up their tents and grabbing their gear.

I grabbed my gun and my knife, also grabbing Emilys since she forgot about it.

"Here," I say handing it to her.

"Oh, thanks," She says looking behind me.

"What?" I turn around, looking where she is.

"You should talk to him," She says looking at Rick, "I would, but I don't want to."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." I walk over to him, he's just staring into the woods, not doing anything.

"You good?"

He jumps. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good."

"She's wrong you know," He looks at me confused, "Carol. It's not your fault."

"It is. She's right. Maybe if I-" He looks down, "Maybe if I dealt with those walkers right there instead of leading them away, she would be fine right now. Probably be on the road to Fort Benning."

"Rick, if you dealt with those walkers right there they would have gotten Sophia. You didn't have any weapons on you besides your gun," I say sighing, "Leading them away was the best thing to do."

He just looks at me and nods.

"Lori thinks I should have done something different. Let the walkers wade in the creek and run back with Sophia."

"She's wrong."

"Maybe she's not. It was possible for me to do."

"Yeah maybe, if you were a superhero. Rick," I point to the woods, "This is not you're fault."

He sighs and walks away over to Dale's RV.

"Everyone, over here." We all gather around while he grabs the arsenal Carl found yesterday.

"Everybody takes a weapon," He says unlatching it so it can roll out.

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need. What about the guns?" Andrea says.

"We've been over that. Elyse, Emily, Daryl, Rick, and I are carrying. That's five guns. We can't have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles." Shane says looking at Andrea.

"It's not the trees I'm worried about."

"Say somebody fires at the wrong moment, a herd happens to be passing by. See, then it's game over for all of us. So you need to get over it," Emily says while rolling her eyes. I nudge her in the ribs.

"The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side. Chances are she'll be by the creek. It's her only landmark," Daryls tells us.

"Stay quiet and stay sharp," I look at everyone, "Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other."

"Everybody assemble your packs," Shane announces.