A Helping Hand

Sarah offers hope

It did not take long for Tony to lose Serge's bet. He made it a week and then got a bottle of bourbon to celebrate.

He then felt like an idiot for choosing to celebrate sobriety with booze. Sarah caught him trying to smuggle another bottle to his bedroom after depositing the empty in the sink.

"And where do you think you are going with that?"

"To bed."

"Why?"

"Because I already lost the bet; why not?"

She rolled her eyes, "Because he wanted you to keep trying, that's why. That was the whole point of making the bet one-sided."

"Sarah, this isn't going to work. I'm not the kind of person that can beat this."

She rested a hand on his shoulder, "Look me in the eyes, boss." He did, albeit reluctantly, "Every hour is a little victory. Hours turn into days. Days become weeks. Weeks become months. And months become years. And every time you fall off the wagon, you remind yourself of this and you start again. You are not the kind of person to let something defeat you. You are Iron Man. And you can fight your way out of this."

"Is this how you convinced Serge to sober up?"

"Little by little, yes. And I smacked him a lot. Sister thing."

"How many times did he start over?"

"At least a dozen. And it wasn't always right away. But that's OK. These things take time."

"So how do I drown the things in my head without it?"

"I don't know. Projects with your son. Building things. Research. Reading. Advanced calculations in physics. Learning languages. Learning to cook without setting anything on fire. Whatever works for you."

"How did Serge keep busy?"

"There's a reason his cooking is fit for a king."

"I set soup on fire. I don't think that's going to be my outlet."

"Nikki Sixx says music is his higher power and he puts his faith in that to get him through- and if you've ever read his autobiography, you know how messed up he was."

"I can't play music worth a damn."

"Then crank up your AC/DC and build something amazing. Take up woodworking. Take up knitting- crochet sweaters for penguins. Whatever. Just do something."

He looked at the bottle in his hand, "Does it have to be right now?"

"I'd like you to try, but if you can't, that's OK."

"Howie is going to hate me for this."

"No, no he won't. We talked when you started this journey. He knows this isn't instant."

"You're a good governess, Sarah."

She pointed to the bottle, "So...am I taking that?"

"No. Not yet."

"OK."

"Have you ever felt like this? Lost someone and felt like throwing everything away?"

She dropped back against the wall and pushed her hair back, "Oy. Yeah. I have. And it wasn't fun."

"Did you drink yourself into oblivion?"

"I did a lot worse than booze. Serge'd only been sober for about a year and I knew I was being stupid. But he knew what to say and we made it."

"The suicide solution. 'Wine is fine but whiskey's quicker.'"

"Much better than the suicide precipitate."

He stared at her for a moment, "I'm not sure if that's a really good joke or a terrible one."

"Both. At the same time."

"Sarah, you're a gem. I promise, only this bottle. Then I'll be back." He retreated to his bedroom. She sighed, then went back upstairs to pick Howard up from school.