A knight and his Kitten

Chapter 11

*3rd pov*

Ophis has seen some stupid things in her lifetime. Being a few millennia old dragon goddess left her front and center for some of the highlights of retarded behavior. Even she had her moments. For example her thinking the human turned devil, Issei, was worth any of her attention. He may be the red dragon emperor, but if anything that proved the Christian God is dead and Michael can't control the sacred gears worth shit. Asia put it best, "even a mentally retarded chimp would make a better emperor then that virgin".

Kiba though, seemed to be trying to out due the pervert in the lack of brain cells.

Ophis was just watching bugs bunny in her room when she heard the God slayer scream in agony. She rushed down to find him unconscious, leaking even MORE of the divine power that very well could kill him, with a pointy eared girl bleeding out on her living room carpet.

The girl was easy to heal, elves usually are. But of fucking course, Kiba just had to save her of all people. It wasn't enough killing a goddess and missing off almost every god on earth, he had to save Kallisto the bear. You know, former lieutenant of the biggest man hating goddess ever. Now Kallisto is uncursed, Kiba is now more God than human, the elf pledged her loyalty, body, and soul to the idiot, and Ophis needs to find a new fucking carpet...

Ophis: Tell me Kiba, are you suicidal? You seem to be trying to make every single divine entity want you dead.

Kiba just groaned. His eyes flickered between blue and gold. The elf was taken to an empty room to rest and Koneko was at his side.

Koneko: You will be ok. Do you hear me?

Ophis: Well, the idiot is basically a God now. The body is mortal but his soul and blood are divine. Not sure what that means. He could be mortal or immortal. Congratulations idiot knight. Countless cultists, necromancers, and fallen heroes have spent their entire lives trying to pull off what you just did by being stupid. Who would have guessed the secret to godhood was to be a dumbass?

Kiba groaned again weakly flipping the loli goddess off.

Ophis facepalmed and sighed.

Ophis: Let me inform you what you just did. You made an enemy of about 60% of divine beings. You PROVED that a human can shed his mortality. That sets a dark president, that many would like buried. Not only that but that bear you saved? That was Kallisto, the disgraced former lieutenant of Artemis. Was caught "flirting"-

Kallisto then raged while rushing back. Her red face now enraged.

Kallisto: I DIDN'T FUCKING FLIRT WITH ANYONE! THAT COCKSUCKER ZEUS TRIED TO FUCKING SEDUCE ME INTO BED BY TRANSFORMING INTO ARTEMIS! I SAID NO! HE SPREAD THAT GODDAMN RUMOR AND THAT FUCKING CUNT ARTEMIS TURNED ME INTO A FUCKING BEAR AND THE PEOPLE I THOUGHT WERE MY FAMILY HUNTED ME DOWN LIKE A FUCKING DOG!

Her eyes turned to me. While trying to calm down again.

Kallisto: I had been following that bitch for nearly 3 centuries. The rest of the time till now I've been tortured and ridiculed as a whore through out history. So fuck it! If I'm going to be called an unfaithful bitch, why in tartaros would I keep that damn vow of chastity? You said this guy pissed off every divine? Guess what? I'm staying around and when that virgin goddess bitch shows up I'm going to shove her bow up her rancid snatch!

Kiba groaned.

Kiba: Why does every single archer I know have issues? Asia has no decency, now I got a former man-hater that wants to rape a virgin goddess with her own weapon? What the hell is wrong with this world?!

Koneko just ate away at a chocolate bar while reading a magazine.

Koneko: I don't know but you have better luck than that pervert Issei. You ramdomly trip over girls now huh? Should I feel threatened?

I just sighed and covered my face in my hands.

Kiba: this is a new level of fucked up. What's next? Issei pissing off a god and gets turned into a girl? Rias reviving Hitler and rebuilding nazi Germany?

Then the wall blew up and revealed a pissed off chick with silver eyes and hair flowing down passed her shoulder blades.

Kallisto growled and pulled out her bow.

???: HOW DARE YOU BO-

Kiba: You know what? Fuck it, fuck devils, my own crumbling mortality, and most certainly fuck every fucking cunt that fucking breaks down my walls and starts yelling at me.

I just slowly stand now noticing everyone staring at me in shock.

Kiba: as for you bitch I really don't care about, take your godly ass and those whores hiding in my trees and bushes and fuck off. I'm in a real bad mood, I have a headache from hell, and of the next words you say are not a "yes, sir and sorry about the wall", I'm going to take it all out on your silver cladded ass.

???:YOU DARE- ACK!!!

I already had her skull in my hand. Dragging her face first, I took her to the nearest tree and inbedded her into it. Golden blood was splattered onto me and I summoned a barrier to block arrows from her lawn gnome brigade. Then one jumped out from the tree I was at and tried to stab me.

This isn't fucking assassins creed bitch...

One easy dodge and bludgeoning into unconsciousness later, and a fucking silver deer hit me from behind, then transformed into a silver hawk and shot up into the sky.

Then I heard a shriek.

One of those girls had koneko hostage, knife to throat. Kallisto was wrestled down by three of them.

The hawk landed on a branch and spoke.

???: You will stand down and face the judgement of the gods for...

Honestly the world went quiet.

I couldn't hear anything anymore...

Blood was trickling down kitty's neck...

Tears were falling down her terrified face...

I couldn't even hear my own cry of rage as my vision turned golden.

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(OK I'm not dead. First good news, I'm surviving the absolute hell that is inflation. Bad news is that I'm now working a second job that works me really, really hard physically. Hence the lack of activity. I found some time to do this but Jesus can the world just get back to normal? I need a break from damn ner everything...)