Wish you were gone

Chapter 1

One more sleepless night,like always.
It's completely normal now. I used to have no problem with sleep but after I started dating Han ,my sleeping schedule has become a mess.
At the beginning everything was fine. But once we decided to be more serious about our relationship and moved in together,the sleep problem appeared. He never comes home early.
Like never. He works until really late and the first few weeks
I rarely saw him.

That really got into my nerves cause
I wanted to spend time with him but when he came home I was already fast asleep.
After that I decided to change my sleeping schedule and started sleeping at around 3 to 4 am. He was angry.
At me and my decision. I still wonder why.
Is it because he is cheating? I tried explaining to him
but he said that I am so silly , messing up my routine for him.
But I only did it cause I love him and want to make memories with him, something he gave up on.
I feel like, making me move in with him was just a game,a bet
and once he achieved it ,he had no interest in me no more.
So,here I am again waiting for him.
It's already 3 am and he hasn't been home yet.
He usually does but now he is late more than usual.

Negative thoughts are circling in my head.
Don't know what to think nor do.
Should I call him?
Is he okay? Is he going to be mad at for it ?
After fidgetting my fingers and walking back and forth
in our apartment, I came to the conclusion that
it's better to wait for him. The last thing I want to do now
is upset him. But I can't help but think if he is out there
with someone else.
If he fall out of love with me or if I am overthinking.
This is it.
Today is the day I am going to confront him about it
cause I can't hold in all my feelings anymore.
Not going to lie though, I am scared.
Of his reaction,of him.
I hadn't realize that our relationship
got to the point where I am scared of expressing my feelings
and thoughts to him due to his hot temper.

4am:
An hour has passed and I can hear Han's keys twisting
in the keyhole from the living room.
I stand up and wait for him to pass the corridor
and reach the living room. I am nervous.
My palms are sweaty and in anytime soon his figure will be in my sight.
The few seconds it took him to appear seemed like ages to me. There he is.
He is wearing his black suit with a white shirt
and a loosened black tie while holding his suitcase.
I can tell his tired by his exhausted eyes
that are ready to close and drift off to dreamland.
As much as I feel bad for his condition,this is the time.
I am ready to finally after two months to confront him.
His eyes meet mine immediately.
"What are doing? Shouldn't you be sleeping y/n? It's 4am!"
he said in a sleepy time.
"I can't sleep. I've told you before that I can't when you are out and I have no idea how you are.
"You never call me nor send me a text to at least inform me about your condition so that I try to sleep knowing that you are fine.
But even if you do that I will not be able to sleep cause.. I miss you...Like ,s-"
"I've told many a time that I am working late
everyday cause I am a really important employee in the company and not many things can happen if I am home with you. "
" But, you need to make time for me as well.
I need to feel love and war-" .
Once again I was caught off. I started getting angry
but tried keeping my tone low ,something Han didn't do.
"Stop it! "I need warmth and love and I miss you so much"
That's everything you say y/n!!
Well, I need space but you don't seem to understand either!"
Is he serious? He started mocking me for asking him
the obvious needs of a partner?
I can't control myself anymore.

"What? Are you for real , Han? It's been two months since I moved in with you and ever since you have been nothing but cold towards me .
Where is the warm loving guy that I fell for?
Where is the sweet guy that would bring me chocolate fudge brownie flavor ice cream whenever I was sad?
The guy,
that would drop everything just to see me because he missed me? What happened to you?"
The last question made my voice crack since saying my thoughts out loud made me realize even more how much he has changed. His reaction though made more angry.
He scoffed while smirking in annoyance.
He titled his head to his right side and then my heart broke.
And tears ,that didn't know where in my eyes, started to drip down my cheeks.
He turned to face me and anger was written all over his face.

"Why ? Are? You crying?? Are you for real? How weak are you? And stop complaining! I am going to bed cause
I am too tired and mad to face your crying mess.."
That was it. I reached my limit.
"Huh? I hate you so much!!!!!!! Forget everything I said before I don't miss you at ALL!!!! I am thankful that you never come home and I am all alone and don't have to see your face.. I- I m going to leave!"

He was looking at me walking past him to go get my shoes and jacket. I could feel his tense look on me but avoided looking at him.
"So you are just going to go? Like that! Go!
Leave as soon as you can cause like I said I can't stand looking at your sobbing mess right now!"
"YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE! I am leaving cause I can't stand your arrogance! And you know what don't expect me to be back!
Only to take my stuff will I face you again!"
I said and walked fast towards the door grabbing my keys.
"What are taking your keys for then?"he laughed.
I turned around and threw my keys to his feet,
with so much anger.

"You really disgust me. I wish I never met you. I WISH YOU WERE GONE FROM MY LIFE!" And with that I stormed out of the apartment, leaving him without looking back.