Things & Thoughts

Empty

The table was still dirty. The dishes were still on it, from the last time they had breakfast together.

He walked through the empty house. The place he used to call his home didn't feel like home anymore.

When he walked into the kitchen and saw the dusty table with everything still on it, he felt an ache in his chest. He imagined his wife, Emily Rose, and his children sitting there, baking cookies while the sunlight was falling through the windows.

Remembering such moments was hard for him. He missed the times he came back from work and saw the happy faces of them.

Things were all different now. And it had been his fault.

He went into the hallway and saw the coats of himself and his little family hanging there. Despite the dust on the old material, he could still catch a glimpse of the yellow star Emily had to stitch on their clothes.

He reached out his hand to the light grey coat Lilly always used to wear when he took her to school. He felt the soft material and imagined the long, black curls of his daughter that used to fall on her thin shoulders.

He put the coat back in its old place, just for it to be never touched again.

He walked up the stairs. With each step, he was scared it would collapse because of the sound it made.

On the first floor, he went into the first room on his right. It was a small room with yellow painted walls. The window was still opened and the white curtains were slightly moving along the wind.

There weren't many things in this room, but the small amount of stuff was already enough for little Sammy. In fact, Sammy loved to be outside instead of staying in his room.

Looking outside the window, he thought about all the times Sammy wanted to build a cottage or explore the woods with him. He smiled at the thought, but then he felt the ache again. He would never experience that again, all because of him.

He walked to the next room. This room was a lot bigger, which was good, because there was a lot more stuff in this one. It looked like Lilly had been playing in this room the day before. The floor was covered in dolls, sketch books, pencils and clothes. All of her stuffed animals were placed on the bed in a row. He also noticed a recipe book that belonged in the kitchen. Lilly loved to help her mother in the kitchen, but she also didn't mind being in her room and dressing up her dolls.

He looked at Lilly's stuff once again, walked out of the room and then went to the attic.
Walking up the stairs, he immediately came into a small room. He could barely stand up straight without bumping his head to the wooden beams thtat formed the ceiling.

He looked around. Being in this room somehow felt nostalgic. He saw the bed where he and Emily had made love, where he had had her small body in his arms. He saw the mirror and imagined her sitting in front of it, getting ready for the day.

He walked up to the closet and opened it. Dust came in his eyes and mouth, so he coughed and stepped away. When he was able to open his eyes again, he saw the dresses Emily used to wear hanging there. He noticed a baby blue one with yellow flowers, the one she was wearing when he saw her for the first time in the city. She looked like a goddess who didn't belong on this planet, that's how beautiful she was.

Emptyness. That's all he felt. It had been his fault. If he had taken his kids to school like every other day, nothing would've happened. The decision to go to work earlier and let Emily bring the kids to school for once ended up being the worst decision of his life.

But he'd be reunited with them soon. He would be playing with Sammy again, he would be reading with Lilly again and he would wrap his arms around his wife soon again. And they would all live together in peace. No war, no yellow star, no concentration camp.

One bullet, and it was done. The emptyness was gone.