Depression Kills

Chapter 4

I was somewhere, I couldn't quite tell where. I saw a flash of light, moving towards me. Which I've been told is the light of death. I ran from it. Hesitant of the decision I made. But it caught me. Now I was alone. It was dark and cold.

    "Hello?! Is anyone here, someone tell me what's happening?!" I questioned, screaming at the top of my lungs.

  

    I saw an image coming towards me, as it got closer I saw a person. Wearing all black and not moving it's legs. It just vanashed, each time coming closer and closer. Then the person disappeared.

  

  "What?" I whispered

   "Hello, my dear," I heard behind me.

  

I took a glance, it was the human I saw before. He was pale and his pupils took up his whole eyes causing them to just be black. His teeth were sharp but small. He was tall and skinny. His pale skin looked as if it was rotting off.

 

  "Watch..." he hissed.

I saw an image appear in the air. It was my dead body in the bathroom. There are people crowding around me. Some ashamed of themselves for what they caused me to do. Gasping and tears. Others, as I expected, laughing and 'finally' coming out of their smirked laughs. I hope they have a cruel death. Burn in hell.

  

  "Look," his voice became louder, "LOOK HARDER!"

 

I did. I saw my mother holding my cold, empty body in her arms crying. The principal just holding on to her shoulder. The expression looked like he could care less and had better things to do. The only person I did not see was my father. I didn't care, I already know he hates me. He's a cruel sick man. If I didn't commit suicide he'd kill me himself.

"You hurt her, your mother yes?" His voice quiet and cruesm, "You were just too selfindulged to realize."

I stood tall, stiff. I didn't realize. She was the one who treated me right. The only one. The one who wished things were better for me. Now she's alone with my father. Now she will feel pain. She will have to deal with what I had to and more.

  "I always loved you mom, it wasn't your fault... no don't blame yourself, please!" I gushed out tears, replying to what she said.

I knew she couldn't hear me, but it was worth a shot. She was religious, I never decided to follow that. So she believed I was watching over her. I guess I'll make that a reality.

  "Suicide only hurts the ones around you. Now you just pick where to go. Heaven, Hell, darkness, or the non-saved," his voice deep and dark.

  Heaven is where my mother told me I'd go. Where I'd be an angel. I didn't feel like an angel though. Maybe a lost angel. Maybe fallen. Undetermined of it's way. I thought about the darkness, would I just stay here?  Where else would I go? What souls whould be there? What would I do? Then the un-saved. It sounded like me. Suicide I'd someone who couldn't be saved. Would I find other dead souls like me? Would I continue my afterlife with them?

"Yes, you will," he answered my question reading my mind.

"What? How did you know what I was thinking?" I asked.

"That's what happens in the darkness. If you chose to spend afterlife here, you'd be like me. With this kind of job. We have final determination of where you go. If you pick the un-saved, we agree," he answered my question.

"Yes... send me there. I'm not a survivor. You win depression or die trying," I answered.

"As you wish," his voice dark.

I saw a light, many colors. Then black. I was somewhere else, people like me. With how they killed themselves written with blood stains on shirts or dresses or any showing clothing. I... I was home. With people I belong with.

"Pills," another boy said to me.

 

"Yes, with a fall off a toliet seat," I began to giggle at how stupid I sounded.

"Me too, well the pills part. You'll fit in here, let me show you around," he offered.

I followed. Deciding to experience this grey yet pasteled colored world. With people, people like me. Who had to fight depression. We are dead, but alive. Killing yourself is no escape. I'm going to have to make the best of this.