The Way It Is ! ** Ziam

Part 9

"I miss you."

Zayn blinks up at the bottom of the bunk above him. "I miss you, too."

"How much?" Perrie asks.

Zayn laughs. "A lot, obviously."

Someone snorts. He looks over at the couch, where Louis and Liam are playing video games. Neither of them is looking in his direction, but there's no way the snort came from Harry or Niall, since Niall's asleep and Harry's at the table, eating.

"Then I have good news for you," Perrie says happily. "Guess who's meeting you in New York?"

Zayn sits up. "New York," he repeats. "That's in—"

"A week," Perrie confirms. She squeals and it pierces his ears, but he doesn't even mind because a flood of relief goes through him. He could use this right now; a break from everything else, a distraction. And Perrie's always been a good distraction. "I have so many plans, and I can't wait to see you. I'm so excited."

"Me— me too," Zayn says quickly. "I… wow."

"I was planning on surprising you," Perrie admits. "Just showing up, but I figured you'd like a bit of warning first. And this way we can make plans. I was thinking dinner, and of course I'd room with you, and I have a few friends down there that I have to have a few drinks with, just to catch up. And—" she cuts off. "Sorry. I'm making this all about me. What do you want to do?"

"I just want to see you."

The other end of the line is quiet for a moment. "I love you," Perrie says. "So much."

"I love you too," Zayn says back, because he does. Has for a long time. But there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. A difference in the aching longing when you're away from one, and that feeling of being incomplete and lost when you're away from the other. A difference between the way a hug from a person you love is all comforting and warmth, while the touch of someone you're in love with can set you on fire without even trying.

You can't make yourself fall in love with someone any more than you can make yourself fall out of love with someone, but he hates thinking about that when he's with her, or talking to her. It's not fair, and this is more than enough for him.

"Oh, shit, I have to call you back," Perrie says suddenly. "But I will call, I promise! Miss you, love you, bye."

Zayn pockets his phone and folds his hands over his chest. It'll be nice to see her; to get lost in the sweet smell of her perfume, such a drastic contrast to the sharp cologne that — no, he's not going there. And he can't deny the fact that he's been more than a little horny lately, and getting off in the shower isn't cutting it anymore (if it ever did). In fact, now that he's let his mind wander to that place, he realizes how desperate he is for that feeling of skin on skin; for someone's nails scratching at his back and soft lips wrapped around him, and—

"What's happening in New York?" Harry asks.

Zayn jumps and nearly bangs his head on the top of the bunk. "Fuck, don't just sneak up on me like that," he snaps while rearranging himself as discreetly as he can.

Harry sits on the edge of the bunk and raises his eyebrows. "So? What's happening in New York?"

"Um." Zayn wonders why he feels guilty. "Perrie's coming for a visit."

There's another snort. "We should stop and get you some cold medicine," Harry says to Liam. "That doesn't sound healthy." Liam glares at him. "Anyway, how long is she staying for?"

Zayn shrugs. "I don't know?"

"Huh."

"What?"