Some character context: Many people will be referring to Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo as their vigilante names because the trio really cares about privacy and doesn't even tell other vigilantes about themselves. Also: Eret goes by Eret because it's not their real name. Eret also goes by he/she/they pronouns in this book. Punz also goes by he/they.
---
Tommy/Raccoon: I hate Eret! Nothing will ever change my mind-
Eret: Raccoon look, I got you a thing! *hands him a silver moth pin*
Tommy/Raccoon: Eret you are my favorite person.
---
Random Hero/Villain/Person: *Disrespects Ranboo, Punz, or Eret's pronouns on purpose*
Tommy/Raccoon: You have 5 seconds to apologize before I bend your kneecaps backwards.
---
*Purpled and Punz fighting the SBI for story reasons*
Wilbur/Duobur: *Referring to Punz* What even is this guys quirk?!
Punz: *Who is quirkless* A very powerful one.
---
Phil/Crow: Wil I think you to sleep mate-
Wilbur/Duobur: *Standing in front of a wall decked out with photos and red strings connecting things* I don't need sleep, I need answers.
Techno/The Blade: He's too far gone Phil.
---
Tommy/Raccoon: This Quackity guy won't leave me alone, I don't want your drugs man!
Quackity: *Somehow appearing* DRUGS?
Tommy/Raccoon: *SCREAMING*
---
Ranboo/Ender: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there's nothing there?
Tommy/Raccoon: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.
Ranboo/Ender:
Ranboo/Ender: *sobs*
Tubbo/Hacker: You fucking scared them, idiot!
---
Ranboo/Ender: Raccoon got into a fight at school today.
Tubbo/Hacker: That's bad.
Purpled: Did he win?
---
Tubbo/Hacker: We're about to do the taser challenge. You want in?
Ranboo/Ender: What's the taser challenge?
Purpled: We tase each other, then drink.
Ranboo/Ender: How do you win?
Tubbo/Hacker: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?
---
Tommy/Raccoon: Do you think paints have different tastes?
Tubbo/Hacker: They do.
Ranboo/Ender: ...why do you say that with such certainty?
---
Purpled: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.
Tommy/Raccoon: Well, that's just your personal opinion, I don't have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?
Eret: Well, I wouldn't really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.
---
Tubbo/Hacker: While I'm gone, you're in charge Tommy.
Tommy/Raccoon: Yes!
Tubbo/Hacker, whispering to Ranboo: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad.
Ranboo/Ender: Obviously.
---
Purpled to Tommy/Raccoon: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...
Ranboo/Ender: Cockroach ankles!
Purpled: Ye- uh, what?
---
Tubbo/Hacker: *pitches an idea*
Tommy/Raccoon, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!
Ranboo/Ender, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit...
---
Tubbo/Hacker: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Eret: I think you mean cards.
Ranboo/Ender: He does not.
Tubbo/Hacker, pulling out knives: I did not.
---
Punz: So, Purpled is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Eret: Why?
Punz: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Purpled, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.
---
Ranboo/Ender: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.
Tommy/Raccoon, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.
Purpled, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.
Tommy/Raccoon: Coming right up.
---
Purpled: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?
Punz: A pet WHAT?
Tubbo/Hacker: William Snakespeare.
A/N: And that's all I got! Have a wonderful day and I swear I'm trying to write up the next chapters! I also used this website: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator to get a lot of these quotes.
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Vigilante Bench Trio (BEING REWRITTEN)
FanfictionBEING REWRITTEN! PLEASE BE PATIENT! Welcome to the wonderful city of Lytbury, located in the beautiful country of L'Manburg! Some of the top pro heroes in the country live here. But not everything is what it seems in this city. It holds many, many...
